OCD or Bipolar?

[WorryQueen7]

Hi all,

For as long as I can remember, I've had extreme intrusive thoughts - at 7 years old, I'd struggle to sleep because I was convinced my parents were going to die. Fast forward to 34 and it's even more severe. I physically cannot stop myself from thinking the way I do, even if I have cold hard facts to support that these thoughts are literally just thoughts.

The most recent one has been that my 3 year old is autistic as they aren't speaking yet and understanding is behind and even though they have been seen by TWO medical professionals who are trained to diagnose and recognise SEN children and both these professionals have said my child isn't autistic and is just delayed, my brain continues to tell me the opposite and it consumes me. My waking day is just spent worrying constantly about the future and I know that once this worry goes, an equally distressing one (to me) will rear its head.

I've had really severe thoughts in the past that make me feel like this isn't normal at all. I've had times when I woken up with my trousers off in the night and been convinced that somebody has broken in and assaulted me and I've been completely petrified for months until another worry pops up that then takes over. If I tell people I trust, they do their absolute best to help me through it and tell me to "try to think rationally" but in my head, this is rational? They also say to trust my gut but I don't think I can trust my gut with the way I think!

I've been on antidepressants for years and had two lots of CBT yet it feels like these thoughts and feelings never get better.

So my question is - does this sound like your standard "run of the mill" OCD with intrusive thoughts or could this potentially be something slightly bigger, such as bipolar? I just want answers as to why I'm this way and to get better, for myself, my child and my family.

Thank you in advance x

It sounds more like OCD and obsessive thoughts. Bipolar is much more about extreme highs and lows.

I'm a cbt therapist and it sounds more like generalised anxiety disorder or gad than ocd but I'm not getting any symptoms of anything like binpolar no

I wouldn’t trust someone who claims to be a therapist then immediately starts offering diagnostic advice on the intranet. If you really are a therapist then please go away and reread your ethical framework.

This sounds more like something in the anxiety or OCD family than bipolar - what made you think of bipolar OP, that’s a very different kettle of fish?

I have bipolar disorder. Bipolar obsessions are linked to mood episodes. So if you were having a bipolar obsession, it would be accompanied by other symptoms that fit the more "standard" diagnostic pattern i.e. a manic, depressed or mixed episode. Obviously no one on the internet can diagnose you though.

@lemongrizzly well thank you I've been trained in several types of psycho therapy for over 15 years. Just trying to help someone that is struggling. Why should I go away? This forum can be so aggressive at times. I'm fully up to date with all guidelines and treatments and regularly work with bi polar and ocd and all other types of anxiety. Just offering some advice as you seem to have done also. Not sure why you feel you can offer advice and I shouldn't

Because I’m not claiming to offer advice as a professional, or implying I can diagnose them.

I don’t really understand why you think bipolar is “bigger” than OCD?
Also, you can be diagnosed with both (I am). It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
What makes you think it could be bipolar disorder?
You need to get referred to someone qualified to diagnose you. Bipolar (especially some of the more unusual presentations) can be difficult to diagnose. I had to be admitted for observation for a psychiatrist to diagnose me. In fact, I was admitted twice to different hospitals so that my consultant could get a second opinion from a different consultant. My mother has been diagnosed with it too and that goes a long way towards getting the diagnosis. Is there a history in your family?

I get obsessive thoughts like you describe. I get fixated on people dying. I play out the scenario over and over again. Even when they are sat right next to be I can't stop the cycle until the thoughts have completed their loop.

For me it is part of my bipolar because I only experience these thoughts when experiencing mood episodes.

It sounds like you are having obsessive thoughts, it might be worth reading about pure O, reading about this gave me some insight on the thoughts that have plagued most of my life.
I would then keep a mood diary and see if there are any patterns in what is going on when you experience these obsessive thoughts. Are they connected to anxiety or depression, what purpose are they solving? When life is feeling out of my control they get a lot worse.

For a bipolar diagnosis you would need evidence of high moods either mania or hypomania. I have had a couple of episodes of full mania which is why my diagnosis is bipolar. When I have other mental health symptoms such as the obsessive thoughts they look to see whether it is a symptom of an episode or in addition and so far it's always been the episode.

My son has severe OCD. I also had it as a teenager. The thing that marks it out and usually what causes people to seek professional help are the outward manifestations in the form of compulsions. So yes, the intrusive thoughts are the trigger, but usually the person will get into a cycle of believing that they can stop whatever it is from happening by, say, repeatedly washing their hands or avoiding contaminants or making sure everything is 'just right'. They might think that if they don't wash their hands, they will die or a relative will die or their house will burn down. In my son's case, he doesn't necessarily have a fixed idea of what might happen, but he can't NOT do the compulsion. I think he has forgotten what the core fear was and the compulsions have become everything. So, OCD can definitely be 'big'. My son's world has shrunk to the size of his bedroom and he can't attend school. He is on a very high dose of Fluoxetine. Everyone has intrusive thoughts to a greater or lesser degree, but if they are interfering with your ability to function, that's when you need to get help.