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Home Town Gives Me Anxiety

4 replies

Beautyintheeyes · 08/02/2025 23:28

over the last nearly 5 years I’ve barely been back to my home town due to a toxic ex relationship that weighted me down way more then I admitted to myself, but on top of that I’ve so many years of family drama or bad news that was tied in that I’ve never ever seem to get over. I’ve spent nights just trying to get to sleep and the guilt washing over me that I’ve not been home much over the years. My parents are divorcing at the moment and selling our family home which has a lot of my stuff stored there. It was agreed that my mum would take my stuff to her next place but today she calls randomly whilst already trying sort the attic out and said she might need to fly me over for the weekend to sort my stuff out. It took me a good hour or so after the call to self soothe and since then I’ve had anxiety in the background at the thought of having to go over and equally not knowing when she actually wants me to do this. I felt I’m not ready to open Pandora’s box yet, I’ve just gotten to where I am mentally now after years.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 09/02/2025 07:32

So let her chuck the stuff. You haven't needed it in 5 years. You probably don't need it now.
Then work on your anxiety. Why does seeing your mum promote such fear? You need to heal yourself.

Beautyintheeyes · 09/02/2025 10:44

I’ve told them to chuck everything apart from important documents as I moved to the uk so many need them in future but apart from that everything is ok to go but she didn’t seem to listen at that point. It’s not just my mum is the place and the home that comes with it, I lived in it with my parents and my Ex for a period of time when they first got it so it’s got all the memories from that time that just rush back. She was showing me stuff yesterday so I get say chuck them and one was a memory board with all my travel tickets from travelling with me ex and it triggered me as I was so caught off guard she didn’t text and give me a heads up just FaceTimed me which she never does and it literally gave me anxiety most of yesterday afternoon. :( I feel sad that I can’t go back there as I wish I didn’t have so many sad and toxic memories.

OP posts:
username299 · 09/02/2025 10:48

Ask her to throw everything out and post your essential documents. You can pay and organise a collection.

You might find trauma therapy helpful.

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/02/2025 13:27

I agree with PP. You can either live in dread and fear of a place and the past (neither of which are any threat to you now) or you can break the emotional connection with both via therapy so that they no longer have any effect on you.

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