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Really struggling obsessive thoughts

7 replies

Frenchvanilla1991 · 06/02/2025 22:56

I recently left a relationship due to daily crippling anxiety. I worried about the future every day and small things would happen like a problem with the house and I'd automatically go into fight or flight mode. I finally left without knowing if it was right thing to do. Still in contact with ex and wants me back. Now I spend everyday having crippling anxious thoughts about finances and what people will think about me going back. So it's all the same feelings but on the other side of it feeling like I can't make a decision either way. I feel I have 2 people in my head weighing up options obsessively based on any miniscule thing that happens.

I know this all sounds really pathetic but I feel very mentally unwell and absolutely obsessed with trying to figure out what the right decision is for my future. I don't think I have gone more than 5 minutes without thinking about this in over a year and it is so unhealthy. I have a counsellor and she is really trying to help me but nothing seems to be able to get me to stop feeling this way. I have always found it hard to make decisions but the indecision and fight inside my head is horrible. I am at the point where every option feels bad and I think I can't do every single day feeling this anxious which is scary when nothing is helping.

OP posts:
NinnyNook · 06/02/2025 23:02

I think when your levels of obsessive thinking reach these levels - where they are interrupting every minute of your day and impacting your ability to live - there really is only one answer. Medication. Therapy is great but without something to ' level 'you out and restore some balance, it's not going to be terribly helpful. Medication coupled with therapy would probably work much better.

Scutterbug · 06/02/2025 23:19

I have OCD and get very obsessive thoughts. I agree with the pp that medication might be worth a try. Have you seen your GP?

Frenchvanilla1991 · 06/02/2025 23:22

I haven't seen my GP, just my counsellor. I'm beginning to feel like this could be OCD to be honest rather than anxiety and that the talking therapy is almost giving me more to obsess about. I never thought I needed medication really but I haven't had much info on it

OP posts:
Frenchvanilla1991 · 07/02/2025 08:24

Sorry doubling posting but I am really beginning to wonder if this is OCD. I'd never heard of ROCD and it sounds like what's happening when I've looked it up. I have a small event happen (that could be unrelated to the relationship) and then feel triggered then I will compulsively seek reassurance that I needed to leave by either posting on Mumsnet or speaking to people in real life over and over again. I don't know how my counsellor hasn't thought about this as I have told her I can't function and it is consuming my thoughts nearly all day everyday. Would my GP still be the best place to start with getting help or a different counsellor maybe? Can't keep going on like this tbh

OP posts:
Ruby0707 · 09/02/2025 11:43

A counsellor once told me about ROCD. It comes and goes but I am in the grip of it at the moment. Constantly questioning the relationship, intrusive thoughts about him cheating or leaving me.

It is awful. I don't have the answers for you but you're not alone and I am seeking out therapy for it.

I wonder, did the anxiety go away when you ended the relationship? Did it start back up again when you started questioning whether to go back?

Frenchvanilla1991 · 09/02/2025 14:07

Ruby0707 · 09/02/2025 11:43

A counsellor once told me about ROCD. It comes and goes but I am in the grip of it at the moment. Constantly questioning the relationship, intrusive thoughts about him cheating or leaving me.

It is awful. I don't have the answers for you but you're not alone and I am seeking out therapy for it.

I wonder, did the anxiety go away when you ended the relationship? Did it start back up again when you started questioning whether to go back?

Hope you are ok as if it is the same as how I feel it is so difficult. It never really went away no, just questioned my decision straight away and now the anxiety is reversed of everything making me feel I have to go back rather than having to leave if that makes sense. That's what's got me questioning if it OCD as the thoughts have flipped rather than anxiety over just leaving and the same thing. I'm going to try and get some help tomorrow. I'm actually feeling a bit better as I think I now understand how I feel / whats happening in my brain with discovering ROCD as I felt I was just crazy before this.

OP posts:
Ruby0707 · 10/02/2025 07:46

I am glad you are feeling a bit better. It sounds really awful.

I actually took citalopram for years. Came off then fully in October as I didn't think I needed them but my mental health has slowly been declining.

I hope you are able to reach out today for some help.

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