Can't make any plans keep pushing things out my mind

[Unicornshorn]

I am late 40's and have struggled in recent years with low mood. I am on HRT which has helped physically, maybe not so much mentally. My daughter is getting older and I feel like I have no identity of my own now, and lack motivation and clear thinking to work on this. I don't really make any plans with friends or have any interests, I just don't seem to be able to put things in motion and get this overwhelmed feeling and push thoughts of making plans or starting anything away. I do it all the time and I know I'm not living life as I could but it feels easier to stay in my boring bubble. Is this a sort of anxiety? I have been prescribed sertraline before but am really worried about weight gain (I am already over weight) and of feeling more detached than I already do. I am quite unhealthy which I know affects my mood more but again I have no motivation to change. Any advice or shared experience welcome.

I have a lot of sympathy with you and have struggled with similar problems and still do, sometimes.
Small things that help include:
Invite a friend over for coffee or a glass of wine to catch up. Just one friend, and they come to you, so it's less effort.
Or meet one friend for coffee for half an hour. Keep it short - maybe in your lunch break.
Book tickets for a show, gig, concert or stand up that you'd like to see. If you pay good money for them and it's someone or something you like, it'll make you leave the house.
Get your daughter to choose an outing with you then book it together. You won't want to let her down.
The trick I found was to gently tell myself I didn't have to want to do something, I just had to do it. And I didn't have to force myself to have an amazing time, I just had to go out in good faith and look for what I enjoyed from the evening.
Another thing that is surprisingly helpful is to do something every day that you have never done before. It can be tiny - take a new way to school or work, try a new type of tea or coffee, a new scent of shower gel, listen to a podcast on a new topic, read a new magazine. It can be silly - eat ice cream in the bath, or connect you to yourself (yoga postures, dance) or to nature (wrap yourself in blankets and have a midnight cup of tea, looking up at the stars. ) Bit by bit, doing small new things can reignite your enthusiasm.

Thank you for sharing these ideas. That's good advice to break things down and I especially like the trying to do something new every day. I feel very often that I don't know what the secret is about enjoying life that others seem to know, I know it sounds ridiculous. I also sometimes get a feeling of life being about duty and that you should only take time out for yourself if everything else is done, but then resent others for doing things they enjoy. I can guess where some of this comes from in terms of upbringing, family dynamics etc. but even when I do think I want to change this mindset I'm too overwhelmed to do anything about it. If friends ask me to do something my first reaction is to panic and avoid answering them for as long as I can. Thank you again, as you say it's about the doing and hopefully actually enjoying it will follow.

Another game to play is to say yes to everything for a day. Or a week. If someone invites you to do something, agree immediately, as an experiment, just this once.
I get that same weird feeling that I 'shouldn't ' do anything for myself until everything else is done. So turning it into a challenge is a good way to create a different mindset.

I'm sorry that you struggle with this too. I think the replying right away is a good tactic, I overthink everything and by pausing for so long I end up forgetting to do things too. I can do work tasks but if it's my personal life I struggle with! It sounds like you are managing to tackle things and have been brave in taking these steps. Thank you again.