How do i keep going

[Strugglinghuman231]

I feel so alone. I dont know if I can keep living.
Have always found life and functioning in life really difficult and the more responsibilities I have the harder it has become.
I have chronic illness and mental health struggles I have been referred for adhd and autism tests I have children all od which are neurodivergent. I know I have created this life but I didn’t know that I was going to be ill or that I was possibly neurodivergent and each day I am so overwhelmed By just the thought of the responsibility and the knowledge of that responsibility and anxiety around it is so overwhelming I dont believe I can do it for much longer. I cant feel like this forever. I try so hard. I amaze myself everyday but im so tired. Im in my 40s now and no amount of rest is enough I cant bare it anymore

Hi OP, I’m so sorry that things are so tough for you at the moment. I can feel your desperation in your words.
You may feel that you are alone but I’m sure you are more important than you realise.
I have felt that way in the past and believed that it would never get better but it really does.
Are you on any medication at the moment or getting any support at all from your GP or MH services?
Can you tell us any more about your issues as there are lots of kind people on this board who may be able to offer you advice and support.

I had a meme pop up on Instagram this mornng that said something along the lines of 'If you can't have a good day, just have a day'. Start it, go through the motions and get to the end of it then tomorrow try again. That's all you have to do but it is such an achievement in itself, especially when you are struggling with physical illness too.

What help are you getting? Is there any medication you are taking? Are you part of any support groups in relation to yours/your children's neurodiversity?

Can you make an emergency appointment with your GP and speak to her about your feelings?

If you think you're in crisis then you can contact NHS Direct option 2 and speak to the mental health team.

Gingerbread may be able to help with support for life as a single parent. The Autism Society have a helpline you might find useful.

Can you do anything to lessen your current stress? Any relatives or friends who can step in? Can you sign yourself off work?

Thank you for your replies. I have spoken with the gp and been prescribed antidepressants but they make me feel so nauseous that I cant stomach them. I have a large family but the support isnt there in the ways I need it. They message to check in but they all have their own lives and struggles including health issues so are limited in what they can offer. I just feel overwhelmed all the time. Like im drowning in the responsibility of caring for everyone. Anxiety is something I have struggled with since my teens. It’s a daily, all day everyday feeling. I wish I could shut my brain up and just function normally and without everything feeling like auch a huge task. Thank you so much for taking time to reply. It means a lot to me

OP you've got into a helpless mindset where you're overwhelmed and have convinced yourself nothing will help. Contact your relatives and explain you can't cope and need help. Hopefully they'll step in.

Not all medication has the same effect, so I'd try again but ideally you need to put strategies in place so you don't get so overwhelmed again.

Contact Gingerbread and the National Autistic Society and ask what help is available. Ask for ways to manage difficult behaviour, look into support groups and peer support. See if you're eligible for respite.

You can contact the Samaritans to talk, they're available 24/7. You can also get therapy, you can try BACP or Anxiety UK have therapy at reasonable rates if you are on a low income.

There are lots of different antidepressants OP, it's definitely worth going back to the doctor and trying another one. You say in your first post that you try so hard and you amaze yourself every day - that is such a lovely mantra. Whenever your mind is spiralling maybe just try repeating that over and over to yourself. 'I try so hard and I amaze myself everyday' - it's really positive and it makes me smile just thinking that.

I think you need to cut yourself some slack. It's hard enough dealing with a chronic illness and mental health issues let alone with having children, and children who may be neurodivergent (who may have additional needs).

I have a chronic illness and mental health issues and I have no children, so I think you are amazing.

Just to add, as much as your brain is telling you it won't get better, it will get better. It's bloody difficult when your own brain is against you and hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and add in sleep deprivation.

Do you have anyone that could have the kids for a few hours or overnight so you can get some rest?

Thank you Ll for your replies. It means so much to have peopel take time to hear me. Being able to get these thoughts off my mind is helping me to get a little more clarity. I definitely need to make some changes so that I dont keep finding myself so overwhelmed that I cant function. It’s just so hard to know where to start, what can change and how and what is realistic to keep consistent when illness and life are ao unpredictable.
i am trying to keep things in perspective and remember that the little things can be what matters most and we have all we need. Trying to take 1 day at a time and not get so ahead of myself. I cant thank you enough for reading and replying

How are you doing OP?