Living with someone who suffers from OCD, vent thread

[BeardofHagrid]

I’m not sure if this is allowed here, but I’d like to have somewhere I can be honest about the frustrations I feel living with someone who has OCD. It takes quite a toll on me and I have never spoken to anyone about it before.

There are loads of examples of things my relative does that make life difficult but off the top of my head I’ll give the most worrying one:

When we go shopping, if he has to touch an item in the supermarket, that hand is then “dirty” and he will drive home one-handed because he can only touch his steering wheel with freshly washed hands. It’s very scary sometimes when you have a lot of cars coming at you or if he needs to reverse. It makes me so angry but I can’t say anything because then we would just row.

I'm very interested if anyone in a similar situation has any frustrations, big or small? (I don’t want to persecute anyone with the illness, but this is my reality of it being part of my life.)

Is he receiving treatment?

My dc had CBT specifically for OCD, as well as taking sertraline, and it transformed his life.

That sounds very unsafe, can he see his thinking is placing everyone in your car and others at risk?
Do you drive? If you do would it not be better if you drove?

I did. I left. It's an awful illness not just for the person but their loves ones as well. It took me a long time to really speak to anyone about it as I felt disloyal but I had to in the end.

No he has never even sought help :/ so it’s completely undiagnosed and untreated.

No, sadly I don’t drive and going with him is my only way of getting to the supermarket.

I really don’t think he would care about risk to others, the OCD comes before everything, literally life and death.

Yes, I agree. With my relative it slowly crept in and got worse and worse in tandem with life stresses. It’s a very stressful disorder to be around.

From personal experience I know this is so very hard on the relatives.

Have you ever managed to have a frank conversation with him about this? Is he aware that he is ill? - one of the problems is that the sufferer often thinks those they live with are the "crazy" ones who are just irresponsibly casual about hygiene or whatever.

It does not sound as though this is a situation that can continue without some professional intervention, especially if there are children in the mix.

I spoke to my relative's GP and said that the situation was becoming intolerable. Eventually he had some treatment which helped.

This is a known diagnosable and treatable medical condition and if you can find a way I think you should try and direct him towards treatment.

can he not wash his hands at the supermarket before driving home? I assume there is a reason this wouldn’t count for him. Or would he consider gloves while shopping?

i appreciate this isn’t solving the underlying issue.

I actually stopped driving in part due to the severity of my ocd which was making me feel I was an unsafe driver.
No treatment has ever helped my ocd in over 20 years of meds and therapy.
The issue here is that your partner is putting his needs above everyone else rather than his ocd in itself.
This is a selfish git problem not a mental health one.

Someone I spoke to the other day told me when he started taking sertraline all the compulsions stopped. Maybe you could convince him to see a dr if he knows there's a cure

This. Do they have any coping mechanisms that could help like the above or using antibacterial wipes. I know its not a solution to the OCD. How bad are they. Are they okay just washing their hands when they get home or do they have to change clothes and have a bath or shower. The only reason for asking is I had a relative that did this.

For the minute. Get some disposable gloves. Either for the car or for when he's out, depending on how much he cares if people see

It's not ideal but it's a better option than one handed driving.