Bad relationship with dd8

[troublewithdd]

Does anyone else feel they have a really bad relationship with one of their children? I have 2 boys too, who I am fine with, but I find our dd truely impossible. She seems to do everything she can to irritate. She always does the bare minimum (eg at school, tidying her bedroom) and doesn't want to please. As a result I am quite negative with her which is probably the root of her problem. Everytime I ask her to do something the answer is NO- she's horrid to other children..........clings when I try to leave her (at Brownies etc)....I find her really annoying! She was a hard birth and a tricky baby...............do you think I need help?!

I am the same with my dd also age 8 ,she seems to hate me and constantly lies and kicks off .
However she does have dyspraxia which dose not help.

Not sure what to say just wanted to let you know you are not the only one who feels this way

Thanks blinking three times...........it helps! I feel like I am the one causing her problems- I probably am. My husband says I should just act the adult and rise above it. Easier said than done!

Do you ever have times when you get on alright or has it been like this since birth without a let up.

I have a DS who is coming up for 8 and we have our moments. He can be equally irritating and lazy. He can still show a toddler how to throw a tantrum if he doesn't get his own way too.

And then, sometimes, when you expect the worse he actually seems quite grown up and human. Makes me think it is a bit of a developmental thing. They want to exert their authority more and more. Some obviously have a more abrasive way of doing that than others.

life is easier with dd, 10 than it was 2 years ago, we are too alike and we have shared lots of stresses and strains, but I did blame myself and tried to make an effort not to always blame her for things, I am so proud of her now and am loving the relationship we have.

thanks Niecie you are probably right, sometimes (when she has my undivided attention) she is OK............One example which made me livid, was she persuaded my Broth in law to buy her a baby annabelle doll for xmas, then one day when I was reading to the other 2 children and she wasn't getting full attention she smashed it repeatedly on the floor and broke it! She was gutted to have broken it!! Stupid girl!

There is a theory that we get on least well with those that are most like us as well. They know what button to press because they have the same buttons. Much as it pains me to say it there might be some truth in that. I do sometimes see myself reflected back in DS's behaviour.

Crikey, I thought you meant you had eight daughters for a minute there!

My 11-y-o dd is also proving really difficult at the mo. And so negative about EVERYTHING. Makes me very sad. Hope she cheers up after her SATs next week, but not holding my breath.