Why can’t I just get out of bed?

[Bathandbed70]

Something has happened to me. I have lost all interest in life, I feel very little emotion and if i do it’s usually anger.

I left a job I was so stressed and unhappy in for another job but i bottled out starting the new job as I don’t feel good enough, worthy or that I’m capable.

All I want to do is lie is bed in the dark usually sleeping, sometimes imagining another life or if I wasn’t here, or all the “what ifs” in the world.

I don’t want to go out, get dressed or do anything really. Much of the time I pretend I’m I’ll just do I can stay in bed or lie in the bath for as long as I can. I think they ( family) are noticing the decline though.

what’s happening to me?

No easy way to say this, but you should speak with your GP, you may be sliding into something that can be prevented.

It really is good to talk. Go seek some advice, and in the interim, take some time out in nature - just a walk in fresh air to clear your mind might help.

You are describing much of the behaviour of depression but the only person that can diagnose you is your doctor. Is your family parents and siblings or partner and children?

My family is husband and child. My mum won’t notice, she doesn’t believe in mental health issues and believes I should be out, this is why I’m pretending to be ill as well.

Im not sure I’m strong enough to be diagnosed if that makes sense, im scared that will be the end of my life as I once knew it. My family have a history of suicide, drug and alcohol addiction.

What your mother notices or believes is not important (although her attitude is possibly part of the problem) and neither is your family history - unless it's also your own history in which case you would need to tell your doctor.

im scared that will be the end of my life as I once knew it

Yes, your life could well change. You could be stronger, happier, in a job you enjoy and able to face each day. How does that sound?

It sounds like things can only get better than where you currently are. I've been there, it's tough x

"Im not sure I’m strong enough to be diagnosed if that makes sense, im scared that will be the end of my life as I once knew it. My family have a history of suicide, drug and alcohol addiction."

You are allowed. It is ok. Don't let your family history define you. Make an appointment with your GP and be ruthlessly honest. Write it all down beforehand so that you can just pass over a piece of paper for them to read. They will understand.

You don't have to tell your family if you don't want to, but please tell your GP and accept medication and talking therapy if it is offered. It will help, the light will come back, it's ok to ask for help.

Im not sure I’m strong enough to be diagnosed if that makes sense, im scared that will be the end of my life as I once knew it. My family have a history of suicide, drug and alcohol addiction.

With respect, this just makes the need to seek help more urgent.

It won't be the end of your life, I am sure, @Bathandbed70. I have depression - I've had it since my mid teens, and I am resigned to it being a part of my life for good. But I have had therapy (group therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), and I am on a combination of antidepressants, and that has improved things a lot.

I can get out of bed and function - but I remember those days when all I wanted to do was stay in bed - I think it is because, in bed, you can sleep and that is a form of escape from all the things that are troubling you.

I will be on antidepressants for the rest of my life - and I am OK with that. If I had type 1 diabetes, no-one would bat an eyelid at me being on insulin for the rest of my life, and this is the same. I need them, if I am going to function. I have tried to come off them, but it doesn't work for me.

This is not to say that you will be the same - for many people, what they need is antidepressants for a while, to get them back to themselves, and then they can be gradually and carefully taken off them.

I realise that taking the first step - going to the GP - is a scary one, but I would encourage you to take it. You deserve to feel able to cope with life, but at the moment, it sounds as if you need some help in order to get there.

Who's looking after your child? You need to get to the GP so you can be a good parent

They are 17 years old, but yes you are correct, I need to ask for help to enable to still be a good mum.

Thank you for your reply and insight, it’s very useful to hear from someone who also has felt this way.

If you don’t mind me asking, are you able to hold down a full time job when you feel like this or on the worse days.

That is something that is also worrying me.

@Bathandbed70 let that be your motivation even though it's hard. My youngest is 18 and I swear to god I do as much parenting as I've ever done tbh what with lifts everywhere, work and college support etc

@Bathandbed70 - I have worked - I hadn’t been diagnosed then, but I was a nurse - I trained and worked after qualifying, for three years, then I went to university. After graduating, I got married, and I did work until I had ds1, then again between having ds2 and ds3, when I stopped working - all my take home pay would have gone to pay the nursery - and I haven’t worked since then.

Sounds just like me when I was in the depths of depression. Calling my GP seemed like the most impossible task ever. Then I'd try to justify not calling with all sorts of excuses - I'm not really ill, there's nothing anyone can do, I've always been like this and on and on. Somehow, after years(?) I eventually got to a GP and antidepressants have been life changing! Been on them for over 20 years - working, enjoying life, and just 'normal'. Now I'm happily retired I'm gradually (over a year)cutting down. A few weeks ago I tried reducing from 10mg a day to none which went fine for about 2 weeks then I noticed dark thoughts reappearing so I'm back to 10mg a day and 'normal' again. Might try reducing again in say 6 months .....or not!
Hope you very quickly find the courage to call your GP. Wishing you well ! 😊

Exhaustion is a classic symptoms of depression. People don't realise what a physical illness it is. A major organ of your body is malfunctioning. The brain is a physical organ as well as determining the mind.
Ask your partner to make ypu an appointment at the GP and take you there by car and wait for you.
Medication will help.
Have to dash now as changing trains but will post more support later.

Agreed regarding her attitude also. She undermines almost everything I do. Never asks how am I or what is wrong, “just you have to pull yourself together, I wish I was fit to do the things you can do”

When I do here her I end up extremely stressed and upset, she’s very brutal and cutting.

If she wasn't your mother, would she be in your life? Does she add or take away from your happiness?

Your mother only knows that may mental health problems can be made better by going through the motions , getting out just because you should so that's all she can offer. She sees her baby ill and she is scared and frightened and frustrated - she is human

You however need medical support- so focus on that. Don't expect the impossible fro people who can't give it

Thank you, I didn’t stop to think about the exhaustion part, there has been a lot going on over a long period which I suddenly withdrew from, feels like the shock has maybe just hit me!

Im very interested on any further info re the exhaustion you may have. Thank you again