Hi, I really rely on my car for everything (live rurally, self employed alone, and need to get to many locations 6 days a week, plus an asthmatic pet needing emergency vet dashes!)
But I'm worried I may lose my licence and therefore my treasured business...and therfore house, pets....the lot.
No family (abusive and violent so estranged for years) and only a small network of friends, who can't be my taxi full time
Is this likely to happen? I'm worried I might be told I have some form of psychosis illness.
Currently just down as depressed (as have been for years anyway)
Ive been driving happily since age 18 and do 22k mileage a year with no issues. I'm sure that my mental health doesn't affect my driving but will DVLA care?
I feel I'm totally self aware of when I see/hear things that aren't real. Only once I've been confused and that's because I heard running water and went to check taps (and that incident was 11 years ago).
Dont feel i have any delusions (the traumas that happened were real/caught on camera/written on paper threats/witnesses) so I dont think im making it up!
Background: (sorry its long)
Since adolescence I've had minor hallucinations, only lasting a second or two at most, or a very short 'glimpse' if visual. Worse under stress and doctors have brushed it off for years.
I don't feel it affects my life. I call them 'irritations like mosquitos'. And I take it as a sign to get more sleep or try and reduce stress.
I thought it was due to the abuse at home and then other traumas that happened in adulthood.
Now early 30s and due to some unrelenting bad events (and stalking from abusive family and neighbour from hell playing up), I'm under a lot of stress.
I can't diagnose myself but I would assume some forn of ptsd from the past.
Hallucinations are back due to current high stress but again very minor and still last 1 or 2 seconds. Just a little more regular eg 2 or 3 times a day
Unfortunately have also started having odd bodily sensations for the 1st time (eg string in mouth and throat) and my doctor has suddenly got worried and is meant to now be pushing for mental health assessment. Which is what I'm panicking about as just heard I could lose my licence!
It's taken my advocate a long time to get nhs and GP to take me seriously, they have not helped at all over crisis last 6 months, for example: sending me to a closed crisis unit and then basically just shrugging and leaving me to cope.
Mental health team scheduled but didn't carry out two telephone calls over last summer and then claimed they didn't know who I was and slung me off their books.
Also no nhs trust is accepting me and half my medical records are missing somehow. This also means when advocate and I did get to see a new GP she couldn't even prescribe me a single pill!
Been ignored again for weeks until I reported the body sensations yesterday and now the doctors sat up.
Also, just to put cherry on the anxiety cake..... I wasnt aware until the scanning research finished, but I'm part of a big UK study where participants (back when we were age 15 to 25) were selected for brain scanning at a neurology university.
Turns out they were choosing people for schizophrenia like changes in the brain growing up if you had told the study you had psychotic experiences eg hearing things. Linked to childhood abuse/ACE scores (the main study we were chosen from studied us from birth hence why they had the data to give)
I think I was in the high risk group as the reports stated that high risk participants who scored highly were filmed when interviewed before the scan. I was filmed twice.
Therfore got no one really to ask so I thought I'd post here if anyone has experiences? Would love to hear. I'm terrified tbh.
I don't know what I'll do if it's bad news and I lose my car snd everything, life will be in ruins (even more than it is!)