How do you stop yourself spiralling?

[Sal80]

Just that really.
bit of back story-
I am in my early 30s and currently awaiting counselling for recurrent miscarriages. I do have 1 child.. I’m having particularly bad anxiety made worse by my period. I feel like no one likes me in my work, (I’ve spoken to a few colleagues and they’ve reassured me I’m being silly) I’ve got no real reason to think this but I’m panicking and can’t get out of it. I’m worrying over things I’ve said, if I should of said them etc. I know it’s not logical but I suppose that’s what anxiety is, in the grand scheme of things so what if no one at work likes me, I know that won’t really matter. I’ve kept myself busy today but I still feel awful.

I took time off and eventually stopped working. I used CBT and stopped drinking completely. I stayed at 1 child and gave up on a second because my priority is the one I already made and was struggling with.
In your shoes I would speak to the GP about medication.

I'm sorry for your losses x

I focus on whatever stupid fun thoughts I can. So I'll go for a walk with headphones - but I don't ponder and think, I pretend I'm a figure skater and dancing along to the music (in my head) figuring out where I'd put all the jumps. Or I'll buy a lottery ticket for the following week and spend inordinate amounts of time planning how I'm going to spend my winnings.

For me, I find I can't stop thinking about things if I try, I need to actively replace the thoughts with something else.

I’ve spoken to my GP and they gave me a ripped piece of paper with a charity’s email written on to contact. I couldn’t even get counselling through the GP. I may ring again though and tell them it’s gotten worse. I feel working helps as I like the routine. I don’t drink at all x

I’m so sorry for your losses.

I’m the same as @LittleRedRidingHoody , in that I can’t stop the thinking so I need to replace it. Some really good suggestions there.

I have found aromatherapy incredibly helpful too. Creating associations or calmness with certain scents. It really helps me refocus. Not suggesting medication from GP shouldn’t be considered, before anyone says it, but aromatherapy has worked for me.

I don’t drink alcohol or have caffeine generally. Both exacerbate my anxiety and I’m used to not having them now. I do enjoy the odd trip drink though, nice replacement.

Do you have a friend or family member you can talk to about this? I find telling someone out loud I’m spiralling helps stop it in its tracks. Panic attacked particularly.

It does get better OP. I’ve had some really bad times anxiety wise but today it hasn’t even crossed my mind, which is a million miles from where I was this time last year.

I'm also trying to figure this out...in the past it has been self harm, but I've not done that for over 18mths now. I fought stopping that for a long time because it was an easy fix for me. So my anxiety has been much harder to fight since then.

I don't always get it right...too much alcohol at times (which sometimes makes it worse) and the occasional cigarette (I don't smoke per se).

But other times I go for walks and listen to an audiobook, go to the gym or for a swim, do some baking, treat myself to a coffee out...used to go in the hot tub but don't have access to that anymore, and I really missed it, but I think it was the outside and dark that helped. I often like to walk in real darkness (with the dog and no where too risky). Candles and making myself cosy with pjs on, nice blankets and cushions.

Sometimes I'll just lay on my front on the floor for a little while. Sounds a bit mad but it helps.

Another thought OP - does your workplace have an Employee Assistance Programme or similar? Lots do now and it's confidential ~ you can often access a course of counselling through there (for free!) much faster than the GP.

Spiralling negative thoughts can be so exhausting and is such hard work to deal with.

I have been dealing with intrusive thoughts and ruminating ref my divorce and marriage for a long time.

Sometimes when I catch myself doing this I am able to notice this and tell myself to stop (easier said than done). I then make myself start thinking about something nice and relaxing that makes me happier. I try grounding exercises to focus on the present. Breathwork, moving to release the anxiety/energy.

Gratitude focus, any mantra I can think of that has resonated with me (doesn’t matter how cheesy). Distraction with screens etc. If possible, talking to a friend - I am trying to bring back old fashioned phone calls if possible.

CBT exercise focus on asking yourself where the proof is for your thoughts. Ie if you think no one likes you at work - what are the facts that prove this? I also try to remember that everyone has their own problems. So if someone is a bit snotty to me me (say in a shop), I think to myself that they’re probably having a bad day and not that they have taken an instant dislike to me.

Sorry for your losses

Oh and journaling - write your thoughts down. It’s like a brain dump - getting things out of your head onto paper can help sometimes.

Tell myself 'this too shall pass' it is a moment in time

Sleep affects me massively and sometimes I will just accept that i need it!

Exercise / nature and books lift me up.

I have quit social media and surprised I feel liberated

Candles / scents are lovely

I TRY to be kinder to myself -this is a work in progress though

I struggle massively with negative thoughts spirals and I love the tips given in this thread so far. I also find intensive exercise helps me a lot. When I'm really anxious I can't calm down enough to meditate or do yoga, but I can do a hardcore hiit routine which gets my mind into my body for 20 minutes at least

I find immersing my hands and arms in very cold water helps stop panic….