Terrible depression after dog died

[Soulsearcher1]

Hello, I don't know where to turn. My beautiful little dog died suddenly at the start of the year. She was 16 and had a heart murmur and the vet said she probably died of heart failure. She seemed fine all day then in the afrernoon I came downstairs to find her dying in her bed. I'm absolutely broken. I loved her like she was my child and the pain of being without her is unbearable. She was my best friend, my companion and my soul mate. I don't have any real friends and none of my family give a toss about me yet I had so much love from my little dog, that it made everything OK. Since she died, noone in my life has bothered to ask whether I'm OK. I've never felt more alone and unhappy in my entire life. I don't want to go on living without my dog. I have to though as I have a 9 year old daughter and I have to stick around for her. The grief is just so overwhelming though. I cry all the time and cry out for my dog which i know is pointless but i just miss her so desperately. I just can't bear the thought of living the next 30 odd years without her. I don't know how to live with this pain.

I’m so sorry OP.

It is a very real pain, losing a loved and loving dog. Some people don’t understand it, but it’s hard to blame them, if they have never had a bond with a dog.

Your DD is there with you. Spend the time with her, do things with her.

Time will heal you. Let your grief wash over you, you can’t escape it but it will get better. Your memories will be yours forever.

Go and volunteer at your local dog shelter, not to find a replacement but to understand that, when you're ready, there are so many dogs who are waiting patiently to mend your broken heart.

I'm so sorry. There's no pain quite like it. I've always been distraught when our dogs have died, and one in particular absolutely broke me. I spent weeks unable to function at all, just sobbing in a ball on the sofa clinging to his blanket that still smelt of him. I found the Blue Cross pet bereavement services helpful - I couldn't bear to phone them but I spoke to some lovely people via email and on their facebook group. https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

Thinking of you 💔

I'm so very sorry.

I am sorry OP. Your Ddog sounds like she was a wonderful companion.

I took to my bed with a bottle of wine when my dog died the grief was awful.

I know it is hard, getting another dog did help me but I probably should have waited until the grief subsided.

Sending you best wishes x

I’m so sorry.

When we lost our dog a few years back, it was genuinely the worst grief I’ve ever felt in my life and I thought I’d never feel ok again. I felt so sad every day, I couldn’t sleep or eat, at times I just wanted to die to not feel the pain anymore. Very few people understood how I could feel so bad, but I did. Even those who did understand, I couldn’t believe when they said I would feel ok in time as my grief was just all consuming. I did start to feel ok though, slowly, although I still cry and have down days when I think of him almost 4 years on. I am happy again though.

It’s not been long since you lost your dog and it sounds like it was quite unexpected which can add to the trauma of it all, so give yourself time. When you love a pet so much, it’s normal to feel completely heartbroken.

You have your daughter, try to do nice things together. For a while you’ll just be getting through but it will change and you will feel ok and eventually be happy again.

Your dog was lucky to be loved so much. When our dog died I remember someone saying something like ‘he loved you so much, better he’s gone leaving you, than you’ve gone leaving him’. It made me sob, but they were right. He’d have been lost without us, not understanding where we were, so I’m ‘glad’ he went first as much as I wish I could have him back.

You will be ok, give yourself time. x

I’m so sorry, your little dog and relationship with her sound beautiful, and your grief is very real. I don’t have any suggestions, having gone through the loss of dogs I can only remember that at a certain point - and the time varied by dog - I started to remember them with a smile, rather than tears - and though never stopped missing each one, it became easier.when I lost my last dog I waited about a year for my pup , in this year, I tried to do things that needed a bit more freedom, or different things that didn’t involve dogs in any way, and that helped a little.
for you and the memory of your furry friend

I totally understand your pain. I cry out for my dear cat. He died end of last year. It’s incredibly painful and agonising.
Just know that it is normal to feel bereft. It’s a huge loss.
You will have to come to an acceptance and the pain will lessen in time. You have given your dear little dog a beautiful life with you and she lived a long life because of your care. Unfortunately death comes to us all and it’s so hard for those left behind.
i cry out for my boy and I cry out for my mum. Both died last year. It brings me comfort to call for them.

your daughter definitely needs you so I would recommend starting a new phase this Jan. New hobby meet new friends maybe? I know how hard it is when extended family are not supportive. I’ve just had a big surgery and been very unwell. I have siblings who wouldn’t even send a text. But that’s their loss.

Just focus on your daughter now and remember your lovely dog will be with you in your heart forever. I believe those we love remain a part of us. But your daughter absolutely needs your support and presence

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss, too. My dog also has a heart murmur but is in the final stages and we spend as much time together as we can. She's my life. I am so very sorry for your loss and we are with you here, listening. 💔xx

So sorry for your loss, it's so awful when they go.

I lost my two elderly dogs just over a year ago and feel totally incomplete and still struggle. I needed time to process their loss but it's been awful being without them. My life and home feel empty. However after a year, although losing them is still very raw, I now feel able to consider getting two new dogs this year once Spring arrives so I guess that is some kind of progress or healing taking place. It has taken me over a year to even consider this so be kind to yourself and patience is needed. In time, another little soul will be looking for the love you can provide and although it will never replace your previous dog, it distracts from the loss and provides comfort & companionship that is priceless.

I am so sorry to read this. Some people who have never had a pet just don't get it !

I had my dog PTS over 4 years ago and think about him everyday.
Grief is very personal and everyone is different - there is no right way . I wonder if you can get some therapy (a book / online etc) We have lots of photos of the dog around the house and the kids (grew up with him) have memory boxes too. I have kept his ashes - these reminders have helped us all. I am surprised I have not got another one - when the house is empty (kids gone) then I possibly will !

That’s such a lovely idea

Couldn't just pass by, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, what a lucky dog to have had you,and how lucky you were to have had him.
Take one day at a time, and look after yourself x

I’m so very sorry for you. I understand completely that feeling, and when my old boy passed, nearly 4 years ago, I honestly couldn’t bear the pain. He was 18.5 years old, deaf and blind by the end and so relied on me completely. When he went I felt like I’d lost half my soul.
I swore I’d wait at least a year before I got another one, but DD kind of forced my hand after just 3 months, and we rescued a fluffy little idiot from the dogs home. He’s such a joy! Thick as two short planks but so affectionate. He made me realise that I have room in my heart (but perhaps not my house!) for loads more dogs. It doesn’t mean I’ll ever miss my Fred any less.

Hi OP, so sorry for your loss. This is such a lovely supportive service to talk to during this difficult time: https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss
I would also mention to them about feelings on not wanting to be here, or take them to your GP just so you are safe.

I’m here anytime you want to talk about this too OP. I truly understand the agony

I'm so sorry :(. I lost one of my dogs on 8th January at just eleven years old. I've never felt grief like it and I lost my mum in November. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not realising how ill he was and his little face expecting me to make him better.

Now I'm just terrified of losing my other dog. I'm also stuck on my own in my mum's old house away from friends with only a vile BIL nearby who I haven't even told. I'm autistic, depressed, anxious. Message me if you want to chat x

It is like losing a family member. Just dreadful. Hope you are ok.
Still go out for walks if you can, it will help. X

I am so sorry about your beloved dog. It's been no time at all so I'm not surprised you are hurting so much. They really do take a piece of us with them when they go.

My dog who I described as you do, my companion, my soul mate, my best friend, died 2.5 years ago. Saying goodbye to him broke me and I miss him every day. In fact writing this has made the tears come.

I promise it will get easier with time.

I haven't been able to get another dog, partly our current situation but also because I still want him not another dog. After 12 months we adopted a stray cat. It's not the same relationship but he helped to heal our hearts.

Thank you all so very much for your replies. I really do appreciate your compassion, kind words, sharing your experiences and your advice which I've taken on board. I'm so sorry to those who have gone through the pain of losing a beloved pet. I knew this time would come but I underestimated the level of grief at losing her..it's reassuring to know that the pain gets easier.

We lost our 12 year old boy on the 8th January of heart failure. He was my baby. I feel I cannot cope with this pain anymore, even getting his ashes back didn't help. I just want him here, filling the huge void. My Dr put me on antidepressants 2 weeks ago so now I've got side effects to deal with aswell as grief. I feel so lonely. I think this is worse than losing a family member because they live with you & rely on you for everything. I understand how you feel 💔

Oh, that's so sad OP.
I got another dog quiet quickly when mine died. I know you can't just replace them but honestly, new dog helped heal the pain enormously. I think volunteering in a dog shelter is a great idea.

*quite

How lovely that your much loved dog died at a great age and in the comfort of home. You can take comfort from this.

Our darling dog also died of heart failure. It is completely devastating and we cried for days on end. We couldn’t cope with the sadness of a home without a dog, and bought a puppy about 8 weeks later. It has been the best salve. We think and talk about our beloved old dog every day, but adore our pup who brings us so much joy and happiness. It really does heal the pain.

We can't get another dog because of our working hours. We were replying on someone to come in to sit with him if we left him more than 2 hours.
I honestly don't think I could go through this again.
I couldn't volunteer at a dog shelter either as it would break my heart further knowing I couldn't help those dogs.