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Depression - guilt and regret

5 replies

AAbbcc1234 · 22/01/2025 16:51

I suffered from a terrible period of depression, eventually resulting in a breakdown a few years ago. This took a toll on all aspects of my life, however now I feel crippled with regret about the time that taken from me, especially how I neglected my marriage, I feel very guilty about this. However, we’ve really worked at things over the last year and everything is great, I just feel so sad about what was lost, I understand I was ill and did everything I could to get better, it just took a long time. Anyone else felt like this? I’m late 40s so also wondering if this could be peri anxiety/excess worry. Just feel very mentally stuck and overly dwelling on this.

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Eyesopenwideawake · 22/01/2025 17:18

Think of it this way; you lost that part of your life to an illness that you didn't cause and didn't want but you got through it and now, as you say everything is great. Do you really want to waste one more moment dwelling on something you have no way of changing, or would your time be better spent making the best of your 'second chance'?

AAbbcc1234 · 22/01/2025 17:39

@Eyesopenwideawake I totally agree and my sensible logical brain knows all this - but unfortunately it gets drowned out by the regretful self deprecating side - I think I really need to work on pushing out those negative thoughts and really pushing forward the positive and grateful thoughts - it is just a battle though. I suppose I’m scared of those negative thoughts winning and falling in that black hole.

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Eyesopenwideawake · 22/01/2025 18:18

Understood. Instead of pushing out or battling those negative thoughts (it's a fight with yourself so one you'll never win!) try seeing them as scared children who are worried that you're going to get ill again. Reassure them that everything is OK now and, even if the worst happened, you now have the experience and tools to bring yourself out of that black hole.

ValancyRedfern · 22/01/2025 18:32

I am so filled with regret and sadness for the years lost to depression, even though that causes more depression! It's a horrible vicious cycle that I'm stuck in.=, so I empathise!

AAbbcc1234 · 22/01/2025 18:50

@ValancyRedfern i hope you manage to break the cycle ❤️ it really is a horrible illness

@Eyesopenwideawake definitely need to work on being kinder to myself - and you’re right no point fighting with myself

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