Partner so avoidant around preganancy

[WildTealSeal]

We had been trying for some time, amd now we are pregnant.
I'm getting stressed and worried because my partner just seems so avoidant about anything to do with the pregnancy, he doesn't want to talk to the baby, doesn't hold my tummy, or not really interested in learning about pregnancy
Is this normal for a first time dad?
I thought he would be way more excited but isn't
And I'm finding we are less close than before and he seems frustrated and annoyed at the tiniest of things.

Would love your thoughts. Thanks

I understand you're excited but your behaviour is strange. I would be very bewildered if my husband was talking to my belly at 8 weeks pregnant. Why are you trying to make him do that?

This. And what @Snoopdoggydog123 said. Nothing has changed for him, except he's probably 💩 himself. Asking him to talk to an embryo is insane. Chill out!

I think it’s different for men - the baby is a lot realer for you this early because you feel the impact of their presence even when they’re a “dot”. For him, you probably don’t look very pregnant and all the talk of pregnancy and hypnobirthing is rushing towards something he thought there was 9 months to prepare for. Take it easy and be kind to yourself, I’m sure as the weeks go by he will get more excited.

Is he use to being the main character in your relationship?

How has he been in the past if you got ill or needed support?

Some men do get jealous of the attention their baby gets. It does indicate you will not be supported in your pregnancy. With regards to the baby, paternal instincts may come in or he may struggle with being second best.

My DH never talked to the baby or held my tummy, but he did help in practical ways like cooking for me, and is now a great dad to our DDs.
I think men sometimes need longer to feel like the pregnancy is real, because the mum obviously has all the hormones and can feel the baby moving.
He's maybe feeling anxious too. Give him some time to get used to things.

This seems quite a leap. The "baby" is an eight week old bundle of cells, unrecognisable as human. It's quite a hard thing to get your head around.

From my experience (and that of friends) it's harder for the men to really "get it" in the first trimester. For you, you feel all over the place - emotionally & physically, but when your partner looks at you, you look exactly the same, so it can be hard for them to feel like anything has changed in the same way it does for you.

I found for my husband it was much easier once we'd had a scan / when I started showing, as it was much easier for him to "see" something happening.

At 8 weeks it's the shape and size of a butter bean and has a recognizable face and countable fingers and toes. So not quite a bundle of cells. But obviously not a full bump!!