Trauma voice - is this a thing?

[Squirre]

I'm really not sure how to describe this. When I'm feeling anxious/intimidated/stressed my voice changes to this almost faux little girl sounding voice. I can't really control it apart from by not speaking when in those heightened emotions. This has always been a thing with me (that and repetitively saying sorry). It used to drive my ex husband insane and me too tbh. It's deeply annoying! I just wondered if this was just a me thing or if it's more widespread? I tried researching it but couldn't find anything online.

It sounds like a subconscious self preservation trauma response. Don't victim's of kidnap do this in order to calm / not further anger their kidnappers?

Have you had any counselling to unpick it all? It sounds like it might be a good idea.

Anyway, that was just my gut reaction to your post. Hopefully others will be along with similar experience and advice.

Sorry for what you suffered.

Does your throat feel tight at these times?

It's a thing.

Plenty of women, myself included, unintentionally change their voices when they feel stressed/ anxious/ frightened, It can be a flirty thing too for some.

Yes, as others have said it's a subconscious defence mechanism to show that you are not a threat and/or to get your own way as you may have done with your Dad. Therapy could help, as could voice training (a la Margaret Thatcher!) or an assertiveness course.

Paris Hilton is the most famous example of this. Watch her free documentary on YouTube about the abusive "school" she went to.

Sounds like a “fawn” response, it’s a learnt self preservation thing.

Did you go through something traumatic as a child? It might be something worth exploring with a therapist if that is accessible to you.

A way to feel small and say, I'm no threat and need protection? I used to do it when I was younger. I had an abusive Step Dad and I would talk in almost a baby voice to show him I wasn't any threat.

Yes. Its a thing. Have you tried EMDR?

Yes good call. There's a youtuber called Orion i think who relates this to Autism and goes into detail about fawning. Well worth a watch for people with this tendency.

I would think that when you are anxious and scared it would be natural for you to go into ‘hypervigilence’ which would be the adrenal response-fight, flight, fawn freeze.

You muscles would tense ready for action, your breathing would increase, heartbeat up etc. The breathing and tense throat muscles/ vocal cords must affect the pitch of the voice.

When I am similarly stressed my voice gets breathless and it can ‘catch’. Mine is especially bad if I feel myself wanting to cry. I am easily made emotional.

Perhaps some kind of voice training would help - but try and stop yourself when this happens, stop, slow down and take deep breaths.

If I’m feeling anxious I find my voice goes very hoarse and I struggle to project any sound. It actually makes my anxiety worse because it physically feels like my voice is being taken from me.

Also i think it was horrible of your exh to make such a big thing out of it