Unsocial able husband

[Malibu2022]

We were invited to my husbands old friends party I knew a couple of people not well.

there was a free bar and the music was great felt 90’s reliving my youth.

My husband was okay for the first hour prior to going out we had to agree a home time which was midnight I was okay with that.

10:00 he starts to want to go home.

im dancing with his mates wife’s/gfriends having fun: he wants to go he tells me I said you told me 12.

11:15 one of the girls pours the last of the bottle into my glass husband has a paddy and tells me not to make him look like a moody bugger in front of people to which I replied I haven’t said a word she poured me a drink you snapped and it’s not the agreed time of midnight.

we leave at 11:55.

help I don’t know how to navigate this my husband used to be fun even if he doesn’t want a drink these days fine but the curfew and literally waiting for me to finish my drink to leave is killing me off.

anyone else experienced this

Oh god this is not fair - I Think I would make my own life and go out with friends and leave him at home altogether

Why did you have to go home together? Was he driving (and therefore sober)? I would have suggested he went home when he had had enough. (It’s no fun being at a party when you are not enjoying yourself.)

It’s also no fun when your partner sees you having a nice time and thinks ‘Well we can’t have that’.

It is so controlling that he wants to be a moody bugger but you were in the wrong for not covering it up.

This gets really bad as people age so I would be tackling it head on.

Honestly, I'd have just gone home separately. No point you both being miserable.

I would have got a cab later and let him drive himself home

If your husband has social anxiety or struggles in certain social situations, then YABVU. I'm guessing since you had arranged a set time to leave, that he didn't want to go to begin with.

Why couldn't he go home without you? It absolutely sucks being at a party if you have social anxiety and are really not in the mood.

Has he behaved like this before? Could there be something stressing him out that he hasn't disclosed to you? You need to have a calm chat and ask him why he was unhappy at the party, without any blame.

Yes he decided to stop drinking last year he will have the odd drink but just not bothered about drinking which is absolutely fine, he never had a problem with drink he just decided he didn’t enjoy it as much anymore.

since then every single time we go out he wants to home early when everyone else is staying it’s not like I want to stay until the early hours of the morning but every time we go out we have to agree a time and then he always changes it to earlier.

I find I don’t enjoy going to social events with him as feel like I’m on a time schedule and can’t relax.

he never used to be like this so I’m finding it really hardwork.

he has actually snapped at me a few times in front of people as he wants to leave.

If my husband snapped at me publicly, I would be giving him a hard stare and telling him very firmly not to talk to me like that and that he is welcome to leave, you will make your own way home.

I wouldn't go out with him socially where possible either.