Struggling with dealing with elderly relative's MH crisis

[Orangesandlemons77]

There is an elderly relative who is having a mental health crisis. Seeing and hearing things, the diagnosis is depression and delirium.

She has rang me before wanting to talk, which I find hard as I have had psychosis in the past and I find it quite difficult to listen to and triggering.

This morning I had a missed call from her but I was going swimming, so I texted back saying when I would be back and she could call me then if she wanted, in the meantime here are a couple of numbers which might be helpful (111 option 2 or Silverline for the elderly)

I got home later to hear from the elderly relative's sister that I shouldn't have done that, it would be upsetting for the sister to see the message about 111, and that the sister's son was in charge of her care not me.

I feel like I can't do anything right. I could have been cross myself, told her not to call me, but I tried to be helpful and that isn't right either!

I'm not sure how to go forward with this to protect my own mental health (have recurrent depression with psychotic features as a diagnosis) and not to upset people. Help!

Often does she call you? Do you feel like you could block her phone number?

Maybe, not sure. She has only rang twice, apparently the one early this morning was a mistake according to her sister, but she rang previously wanting to talk about her thoughts and feelings etc and be reassured I think.

It's on WhatsApp can you block that? I feel bad though if she has no-one else to speak to. She should have some kind of MH support worker really.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you did what you could, very kindly, and it was one of those situations where nothing can be right because everyone's anxious.

111 and Silverline were good signposts and I totally get needing to find your own boundary in the moment. It's just a shame you felt the backlash (although, as I said, I think that comes with the territory here - no one can do anything "right").

Is there anything you can do to protect and safeguard your own peace of mind in future?

I messaged the sister to apologise for sending the link, and explained that I find it difficult to listen and I thought her sister needed a properly qualified support worker to talk to rather than me.

I hope this will get through and I won't have more calls. But I'ma. bit worried I have dome the wrong thing again.

Still it feels better saying how I feel.

I've deleted the chat and blocked the number and also deleted the explanation and apology, I will leave it now.

Thanks for the idea.

Good luck, Take care of yourself, Oxygen mask! You're quite right to signpost other support.

Thanks for the replies!