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Coercion/manipulation/mentalabuse

8 replies

Flowerpower1988 · 13/01/2025 10:33

Hi guys. I have found myself in a terrible situation. in a nutshell, my ex put me through an abusive relationship but it was not physical abuse. It was a steady stream of passive aggression, put downs, gaslighting. A very constant and subtle stream of negativity. I played into his hands when I became drunk and came home and he insulted me yet again, I hit him. I was aggressive. He called the police and they arrested me on grounds of domestic violence. My ex partner will not press charges but i am on bail and my case has gone to magistrates court. He has the house (i applied for, but its equal tenancy. my mistake there) and he is trying to control everything in regards to our poor daughter (6) who is stuck in the middle. Ive been broken down by him, and played right into his hands. I am looking for good advice, maybe support if it can be offered. I know my drunk reaction wasnt right. I am addressing these issues via the correct organisations. My ex is angling to keep the house and basically make me disappear. I will not.
This is it in a very small nutshell, but its more complicated than that.
feeling very alone in this, very isolated. Thank you for reading

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OneLuckyHare · 13/01/2025 10:37

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CombatBarbie · 13/01/2025 10:37

You need to report his behaviour as a separate entity. At the moment he has all the power as you are currently seen as the abuser.

OneLuckyHare · 13/01/2025 10:39

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OneLuckyHare · 13/01/2025 10:39

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CheekySquid · 13/01/2025 10:45

Please reach out to Woman's Aid, they will be able to recommend a good solicitor experienced in coercive control cases. They will also offer counselling and support for your daughter. Do not inform your ex of any of your decisions going forward. They will be weaponised against you.
For the time being go off drinking.. you need to have a clear head going forward. I did this and immediately I felt stronger, in control and less vulnerable.

Flowerpower1988 · 13/01/2025 11:08

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Hi, they are involved. I have simplified my situation and may sound trite. But I am deeply worried for my child's wellbeing/mental health. I feel so much shame.

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OneLuckyHare · 13/01/2025 11:11

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OneLuckyHare · 13/01/2025 11:11

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