How to raise self esteem

[Iaintnodog]

How did you do this?

My self esteem, self confidence and self worth are non existent. I was aware as years they were low but can now say they don't exist.
Need steps on how to build these.
Also just out of another mentally abusive narrastic relationship and i know I will never attract a decent human being when I feel like this. I will attract horrible users who treat me how I treat myself.

2025 will be the year I dedicate to finding myself.

Advice I have heard or was given:

1. do something for yourself, a hobby, the gym, a walk. Be selfish and do something for you for your soul. Work out what makes you happy, is it cooking, is it a bike ride is it helping someone else and volunteering. Just do something.

2. do self affirmations outloud; yes they sound silly and lie to begin with but if you do them enough you will slowly start to believe it. Say you are beautiful, you are good enough, you are kind, you are brave enough to attend that party, you will have a good time

There is some data around positive mindsets and if you think positive you start to see the little things in life. If you have a negative mind set it’s all you see. It’s hard but start by lying you don’t have to believe it to begin with.

3. look for the glimmers, the small amazing things in life that you don’t always see when your down. I had a bath and was looking at how beautiful the bubbles where, so many colours, so much sparkle for such a simple thing. A bird singing or a couple looking at each in such a loving moment.

4. ive never had the guts to do it but someone once said if you hate your body you should stand in front of the mirror naked once a day and just look at yourself. Then slowly over time you start to look at yourself more positively.

If you want to follow any of the above OP I would love an update on what you do! 🥰

Start treating yourself as a loved and trusted friend, someone you aspire to be.

There are very few situations where you don't have a few moments to decide how to respond/act. So think - what would your friend do? What would you do if someone spoke to or treated your friend in that way?

For really practical tips on exactly what to say in any situation look at Jefferson Fisher on FB or Youtube.

You could ask a trusted friend or relative to write a text about how they perceive you.

then when you’re in a bad spot you can re read it and realise that your thoughts are just that - thoughts. They don’t necessarily reflect reality.

Also remember neuro plasticity- your brain can and does change!