Fear of death. Therapy not helping.

[FishOnTheTrain]

I have a lovely therapist - she is calm and spiritual and truly a delight.

In last year, I have developed a horrific fear of death. It consumes me. I have not lost anyone in my adult life - I am in my 30s, my grandparents are alive, my parents are and I feel very lucky. My family members are starting to age rapidly though, and my parents are starting to have health issues.

I’ve gone from obsessing over myself dying, to my parents, to my husband (that’s been the worst) and recently, we just got a little puppy. I’m beside myself thinking about her inevitable death one day. I can’t enjoy my time with anyone because I just think about them dying.

My therapist is great but I’m wondering if I’m missing something. Is there anyone else who has had a similar fear, who had success with meds? Or a certain type of therapy?

I just can’t go on like this. I am ruining my life. I should be the happiest I’ve ever been - all I’ve ever wanted is a little puppy but instead I find myself in tears and every night worrying about her death and how I will cope.

Th one thing that has helped me with similar is to think about the alternative.

Imagine if you could never die. No matter how awful life was you could never, ever escape from it. Even if your life was good, being trapped living it for eternity with no end, no rest, ever. That sounds like torture to me, and death seems preferable to that.

I've been like this ever since my first miscarriage in 2022. I had another, 20 week miscarriage in 2023 and was very unwell and it made me think about death even more. I wish there was a way of changing my thought process but I've tried and I still obsess over it.

I have this exact same anxiety. It's horrific and I feel your pain. I worry so much about my partner driving home from work. My mum. My babies. I hate it.