I need help and I'm not getting it

[Jamjams]

I wanted to die today. The cold and January and everything that happened last year. Trying so hard to get help for my 17 year old son who is on pathway for ASD diagnosis. He is just lost. Last year spoke to so many people, social services, early help, gp, social presciber, citizens advice etc etc. I cannot stand talking to people anymore. I am so angry and volatile and am finding myself becoming almost abusive to these people. But they are all mostly useless.
I live in a horrible dump of a town. It's really so horrible so horrible there was a comedy series taking the piss out it. League of gentleman?
I asked IASS local council for support in writing my son's ECHP and the stupid woman wrote a couple of slapdash lines with all the H's missing!?.
I'm heartbroken that people who are paid can't even be arsed to try and help a vulnerable young person.
I feel like there's no hope living here in this town.
I'm so angry. I want to scream and yell at people. I keep sending angry emails, not abusive or name calling. I can't stop myself doing this. A woman from Homestart called me on Monday and I was taking the piss out of her 'local' accent. I can't stand being patronised by people less intelligent than me.

What is wrong with me I am so so angry

Your anger sound understandable. Have you tried posting on the SEN board? I'm sure there's lots of parents that can empathise with the frustrations you're experiencing.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources: https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health.

You can also go to the Samaritans website : www.samaritans.org/ or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Wishing you all the best with things, OP.

I’m not surprised you are angry, getting services to engage is an uphill battle.
But you need to dial down your outward anger, try to contain it so you can do your best with services
Scream in the shower, shout at a cushion, get a punch bag, go for a run. Find ways to get it all out.
I hope things improve for you. Samaritans are very supportive x

I understand the rage, it is a kind of grief not being able to get the support that you know your child needs. I have one friend who has been through similar and sometimes I have to just rant to her to let it all out. As pp has mentioned, having that support network of others in similar position can really help.

I've phoned the Samaritans just to sob down the phone too. You will get through this, it is exhausting and unfair. I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family.