Partner feels he has no space I feel the same

[Jadethedragon1990]

Basicly my mum split up with her partner of 10 years.
me and my partner live in her house she owns the house. She has moved back she has lots of boxes which is taking days to sort ether getting rid of or sorting my sister and brother coming over every day to help. I was supposed to be out the house today but my mum was unwell last night. My partner feels overwhelmed with my sister coming by over nearly every day. And not knowing what happening. It been 4 days since she moved back.
He hasn’t had any space for himself which he was supposed to get today. He scared to ask my mum if we can have a day of people coming over at least today. Note he has autism so change like this affects him. In all it effects me as well as I can’t relax I feel on guard waiting for the next task even when mum goes got to sort something she could take an hour am sat there waiting not willing to move or do anything.
i feel can’t relax or do anything I want to do I like doing aswell.
my partner worried he gonna be kicked out if he makes a request or asks mum for a day off. I want to ask on his behalf but he feels If he does my family will have an ago at him. By telling him to leave. As it is mums house

In your situation I think I'd be looking to move out - everyone here is 'correct' in what they do/how they feel, but in order to find a solution you'll need to move.

I know it is easier said than done OP but you need to seek alternative accommodation for yourselves.

In the meantime, can only suggest having a very,very polite talk with your Mum (acknowledging it is her house and she's clearly not had a great time herself) about the effect this is having on your partner and seeing if you can work something out to lessen the stress.

I would say you need to start looking for somewhere else to live. When it comes down to it this is your mother’s house. Her circumstances have changed and either you accommodate that or you move on.

We are planning to but we have to wait until my mum is sorted her stuff and then we can talk to a mortgage adviser on how much and stuf. Also me and mum are financially tied which will be having my own independence my own money when we get mortgage

Well I tried to get my mum to least chill today nope even though she was sick last night she still moving stuff we are suffering with my sister coming over again and my partner feels upset as all he wanted was 2 hours to himself.
nope.
we are out this afternoon.
but his last day off before work and he doesn’t even get a break from my faly

Well it might be her house but Is your mum your official landlord? If she is then surely she cannot just walk back in to the house, dump her stuff and expect you to leave? Shouldn't she be the one to need to look for somewhere else to stay?

It's her house. You have to lump it. She's just split with her partner of 10 years, she's probably going through a whole mess of emotions in her head whether she welcomed the split or not. It's only been a few days, you're going to have to deal with it until the dust settles.

This.

I think you need to move out and rent in the short-term. Not ideal or easy but it is something you will most likely need to look into.

Absolutely. Unless you have some kind of official tenancy agreement that would prevent your mother from moving back in at no notice, which I'm assuming isn't not the case...

Your mums going through a lot. Why doesn’t your boyfriend help?

This! It's only been four days and her poor mum has also been ill. Talk about being selfish.

my partner worried he gonna be kicked out if he makes a request or asks mum for a day off. I want to ask on his behalf but he feels If he does my family will have an ago at him. By telling him to leave. As it is mums house

Unless there is an official rental agreement in place with your boyfriends name on it he has no right to ask your mum to stop doing anything in her own house. Is there an agreement like that or is the arrangement between you and your mum and he’s moved in with you?

Your siblings are being supportive. The expectation that everyone should stop what they’re doing and centre your boyfriend is ridiculous. His need for space is valid but it is his responsibility to find ways to achieve that without it effecting anyone else. If you were my dd and you asked me to take a day off from my crisis for these reasons I would tell him to get out, and I’d have strong words with you as well.

Stop being selfish and start helping.

If you're looking into getting a mortgage, I imagine one, probably both of you are working FT. Presumably you're off work at the moment but when you/your partner go back you'll be out of the house and things may seem easier.

Don't really understand the bit about you and your DM being financially tied.

Surely your partner can have time to himself in your bedroom?

Do you and your partner pay rent to your mum? Do you have a tenancy agreement? If so, she can't just come waltzing back into the house.

If you don't, then she has more right to come back.

It sounds like she's only been back a few days and already your p is finding it hard? Time to look for a new flat.

Yes he could go to my room but there no game consoles or virgin media to wars sport so we are limited what we can do. He pays rent and it is actually my mums house was mine aswell but I got my name took of the house. So I can be in the process of moving out. I don’t pay rent because she looks after my money so we share lot of stuff. However this will be ending soon. When I get my own place

Why does your mum look after your money and why did you take yourself off the deeds? Do you have equity tied up in your mums house?

Basicly I have disabilities and short term memory loss. I have never been that great at maths only past 8 years been gaining some independence by having my own pocket money. And saving abit. That want start having more living independently with my partner . I took my name of the house so could get on the list of homes with counsil not much look with that but we gonna try get a mortgage so we can get our own space

It’s shared ownership not landlord and she bought the house. She won’t kick me out, plus I help pay the bills

Why don’t you get a tv and games console in your room? Make it a sort of second lounge with a bed?

We just had a bracket on the wall for tv put in today adding game consoles aswell so should be getting space

Hi everyone have a question. Basicly my mum owns a share ownership house. And due to past debt she wants to get a mortgage to add to the share ownership she owns. She owns 25 percent of the house. What banks would you recommend that can add a mortgage to the sharedownership