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Concerned about my brother's mental health

4 replies

Ugot · 07/01/2025 10:56

Mental health is pretty poor in my family and this is really prominent for my brother in his late 20s. We've always been a close family so you'd think we would be a good support network for him. I find however because he's moved away, that whenever he comes back he seems like he's a bit removed and reverts back to being the kid who was smart but lacked common sense and self confidence. I think my mum has her own mental health issues but perhaps due to her age has been encouraged to suppress her feelings and 'get on with things'. She tries to speak to my brother but when he explains that he feels everyone would be better off without him here, she complains about my him playing the victim and I really feel for him. We had similar upbringings which were pretty nice on the whole and sometimes I think getting kicked out into the adult world was a bit of a shock for us both and years later we still have our difficulties with this. I do struggle with being there for him. Like most people, my life is busy and I have my fair share of bad mental health days. I really want to help him but I'm not sure how?

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 07/01/2025 11:04

He needs to speak to his doctor as soon as possible, and also have the Samaritans number - 116 123 - in his phone so that he can contact them easily. He could also contact https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ for details of his local club.

Andy's Man Club | #ITSOKAYTOTALK

ANDYSMANCLUB are a men’s suicide prevention charity, offering free-to-attend peer-to-peer support groups across the United Kingdom and online.

https://andysmanclub.co.uk

kate592 · 07/01/2025 11:11

Maybe just message him to say 'I'm really sorry you're struggling, I know mum doesn't get it but I do as have my bad days too.'

Do you think neurodiversity could be at play here? Just wondering as becoming an adult can be a really difficult step if you have ASD for example, lacking common sense (is what really stood out tbh) and low self esteem/confidence would be quite typical, struggles with mental health etc Also your mum not getting it - it could explain why. It often runs in families. Just a thought.

Ugot · 07/01/2025 13:45

Eyesopenwideawake · 07/01/2025 11:04

He needs to speak to his doctor as soon as possible, and also have the Samaritans number - 116 123 - in his phone so that he can contact them easily. He could also contact https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ for details of his local club.

Thank you, I think he's just started counselling so I'm hoping that will help. We've messaged a bit today and I'm keeping it light at the moment as that seems to be his preference.

OP posts:
Ugot · 07/01/2025 13:47

kate592 · 07/01/2025 11:11

Maybe just message him to say 'I'm really sorry you're struggling, I know mum doesn't get it but I do as have my bad days too.'

Do you think neurodiversity could be at play here? Just wondering as becoming an adult can be a really difficult step if you have ASD for example, lacking common sense (is what really stood out tbh) and low self esteem/confidence would be quite typical, struggles with mental health etc Also your mum not getting it - it could explain why. It often runs in families. Just a thought.

Well spotted! He was diagnosed with autism when he was very young but seemed to overcome a lot of difficulties so to speak to him day to day, you'd never be able to tell. I guess that must be so hard though always trying to 'overcome' and put on a bit of a mask. Thank you for your advice.

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