OCD is ruining my life

[nugshugz]

I'm aware I've suffered with ocd for as long as I can remember, probably my earliest memory js about 6/7 but I've always thought I'd "managed" it. How wrong was I. The constant fear and rumination and obsessions and brain fog etc is really getting me down. Intrusive thoughts, rituals I have the cleaning etc I've completely lost myself in it and I've lost my spark. I don't know what the best options for me are anymore. I don't talk about it to anyone as I feel no one understands me ?!
Constant obsessing over other people and how the perceive me and how I feel everyone is out to get me, cancel me so to speak. Sorry if I'm not making sense just fed up!!!!
Anyone else going through something similar ? What's your words of advice. I defo know I need some medication but I'm just scared. Thanks in advance

Whats your support like in RL? do you have a partner? children?

have you ever sought professional help?

There's quite a lot of info here. You need CBT with Exposure and response prevention (ERP) and speak to your Dr about medication.

I've never gone into detail with anyone, a long time I spoke to someone about my thoughts (reassurance)and then they told others so that just triggers me so much I'm scared to go to the doctors but I know I need too. I have a partner and children yes

@nugshugz I have diagnosed OCD, had it since a child and now in my forties.
I suffer mainly with the intrusive thoughts/ doubt kind of stuff rather than cleanliness/tidiness/order stuff which I'm sure is just as hard. OCD is known to wax and wane over time and I definitely find this to be true. Resources I've found helpful are books by Bryony Gordon especially Mad Girl and her instagram stuff, a guy called Shannon Shy who has suffered severe OCD himself, he has a FB page Shannon Shy OCD can be defeated and has written books. The charity OCD Action.
I totally agree with @username299 ERP therapy is the gold standard for OCD. It's hard going but does help.
Xx

Please, please have hope - you will get better and get your life back. I have had OCD all my life and, looking back, I honestly don’t know how I got through for so many years without help. I tried everything: meditation, exercise, charity work, self-help, counselling, CBT and was so worn out and felt utterly hopeless. I went on an SSRI - Citalopram 40mg - 17 years ago and since then I have got my life back. I have a full, happy, productive life, a great family and job I love and - while OCD will always be a part of me - I know that I need these meds to dampen it down (it’s just very vague background noise now, if I even notice it at all). For a long time I saw it as my responsibility to fix it but I tried so damn hard on my own, and looking back, the issue was chemical - it was like a person who can’t see trying harder and harder to do so to avoid glasses - pointless and futile!

Please see your doctor and do not be afraid to try meds - I never had any side effects except yawning initially (which was lovely and relaxing) and I will never come off this wonderful invention that allows me to be the person I was meant to be and contribute something worthwhile to others rather than wasting my life on torturous nonsense.

Be aware that a higher dose of SSRIs is usually needed for OCD, hence the 40mg. Sending you all my love, OP - you deserve it. Xx

I have heard these kinds of medications become less effective overtime, that a tolerance is built up, leading to increasing of doses, and other drugs? I just thought it helpful to shed some light on this aspect. I was surprised when you said you have been on an SSRI so long, and it is still fully effective.

I can’t speak for anyone else but I haven’t had that issue. If I did, I would happily look at switching to another type. I think the nature of OCD is to need to seek certainty that a drug will work, forever, and have no awful side effects before trying it and giving it a good go. I know others who have been on it for years and also feel it’s liberated them from needless suffering. If I had believed all the scare stories online about SSRIs (and there are loads - not so many about the countless peoples whose lives they have saved!) I’d never have tried them and…what a loss! Don’t get me wrong, I am relentless in carrying on with ERP and meditation and balance my life the right way to give the drugs the best hope of success, but all those methods have a chance of working as well as possible if the obsessions are more manageable. I would say - try it!! If OCD is stealing your life the way it stole mine, what do you have to lose?

I just feel so sad that people see it as a weakness to take SSRIs, or see them as a danger, yet almost everyone will take contraceptives, headache pills, asthma inhalers etc. The brain is an organ of the body that can need medicine like any other - I think we will look back one day and feel so sad that so many suffered because there is such a taboo about the fact that we should somehow be able to think ourselves out of what is essentially a biological glitch. That’s my view, based on my experience - I’m sure lots of others will have different views, but please do explore all options as there is so much help out there for OCD and it is very treatable, with meds or without (for me, much harder without - for some, probably not!) Good luck - anyone suffering from OCD is a warrior as it’s so draining and so tough but there is so much hope and you WILL get better if you reach out for the right treatment. Life is out there waiting for you…

Like @OneAzureDreamer I have been on an SSRI for over 20 years . Mine have been changed by my doctor a couple of times to a different one when I've had bad episodes but they have all been SSRI'S.

Thank you for your responses, mine is the same intrusive thoughts are the worst, but it does always change over the years. I have doctors tomorrow to speak about it.

Do you take any vitamins? I had a blood test and was prescribed a load of supplements (super strength vit D/iron/folic acid/magnesium/multi-vitamin) and my OCD literally disappeared within a few weeks! I’ve suffered for 20 years with intrusive thoughts, hand washing 5 times every hour, fear leaving the house, door checking 5 times each lock etc). I’m so gutted I didn’t get it sorted sooner. I’ve never felt this level of calm and peace before, my brain is sooo much quieter. It’s bliss.

I’m so please you are going to the doctor - a big step! If you can, stay open minded about whatever they suggest. Let us know how you get on ♥️

Just wanted to say how much your posts resonate with me. I get awful and upsetting intrusive thoughts, which are especially bad at the moment. Like you I think I’ve had them since childhood (I’m in my 40s. Always been scared of taking medication, but it’s got so bad I’m starting to consider it. I hope your GP was sympathetic and supportive when you see them today. Sorry not to be able to offer constructive advice, but you’re absolutely not alone with this.

Thank you for your reply, I'm sorry you're going through this also. It's been so hard for me lately. Everything feels too real and my mind just goes absolutely crazy. I spoke to the doctor yesterday and told them how I've felt for the last 30 years, my memories go back to being about six when I started with ocd. It's hard not to feel alone, but I'm so glad more and more people are speaking about it now. Xx

Thank you I'll look into this, no I don't take vitamins at the moment. But I sure as hell will be now. Do I have to have blood tests ? Or can they just prescribe me them

Thanks @OneAzureDreamer it felt good to get things off my chest yesterday. Was hard though I must admit, speaking what goes on in your head when you literally never do was something that challenged me. But she was so reassuring and she diagnosed me with ocd.

Your message really made my day at the end. Thank you

I spoke to my doctor yesterday

Definitely goes back to being a child, makes me rather sad that I'm still like this now. So I'm getting the help I need, for me, my family especially and also my inner child

Well done - a burden lifted! It’s so much more common than any of us realise, as we feel so trapped in our own heads. I hope you have a treatment plan now, and can start to feel hopeful ♥️