Really missing therapist

[Georgeismydog]

This is so embarrassing, but developed romantic feelings for my therapist. Stopped having sessions with him but I'm really missing him. I'm bereft. I ache to see him again. His voice was so soothing and I felt so safe during therapy. Can't stop crying, miss him so much. How pathetic am I

Not pathetic at all OP. It’s understandable and very common to get attached to a person who gives you their undivided attention and supports you, especially if you don’t get much of that in real life.
It is called transference and isn’t real romantic feelings so you need to recognise that.
Why did you stop having sessions with him?

BrusselSproutsRock

Stopped because my friend is a MH nurse and told me that I should have CBT which he wasn't doing.

Nope no support in RL

It’s not surprising that you would miss him then if he was the only support you had.
Could you confide in your friend as she should understand about transference?

BrusselSproutsRock

I confided in my friend about my initial transference but have kept that I'm missing him to myself. Not sure what to do with it

It is such a difficult situation and I don’t really know what to advise apart from repeatedly reminding yourself that it isn’t real attraction.
You couldn’t have any sort of romance with him because the client/therapist relationship is such an equal balance of power.
It would be totally unethical for him too and against the rules of any professional body he belongs to.
Maybe it would help to try to widen your circle of friends so you had more support in real life but I realise that is not easy to do.

Unequal balance of power, obvs!

BrusselSproutsRock

Logically I know that but when I'm distressed something gets activated and I start missing him. Even if he wasn't my therapist, ffs he is 10 years younger than me! He isn't going to want to get hooked with a mid 50s hormonal woman with 3 adult kids 🙄