I have struggle with my MH for a long time, though most people looking in from the outside wouldn't know. I am very lonely and feel my world has shrunk to being so small. I have spent much of NYE and today alone and just don't see anyway that things will get better moving forward. My family live across the country and nothing seems to hold any excitement anymore for me. I've been actively suicidal at times this year but not quite there again yet, just feel like I want to rip my life up and start again but not in a position to ATM.