Just don't really want to be here anymore

[onestepfurtheragain]

It's just that really. I have felt like this on and off for a while. Wouldn't ever do anything about it - at least while the kids are young. I'm all they have. I'm just so tired. Not expecting a response but need to record it somewhere.

Sounds as if you are having a really tough time I feel for you. Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to? I would suggest going to your GP for a wee chat x

Thank you. I am having therapy and have my next appointment next week. Hard to see the point of it to be honest...

Hi OP, I felt the same as you many years ago, in fact I could have written what you have, but I certainly don’t feel like that now.
Things can and do change, life can get better even if at the time you are convinced it never will.
Are you a single Mum? because it is hard when children are young and this time of year can be the worst, especially if it’s rainy and grim like it is here.
Sounds like you are doing well by going to therapy and I’m sure the kids think the world of you and love you dearly - hang in there and who knows what the future holds in a few years, it could be good.
Have you friends you can talk too? 💐

Sorry you are feeling so low and having this horrible time. Hard as it is, try to hold in mind "this too shall pass" and practice little, simple acts of self care, as best as you can.

Feeling exactly the same. Between us, my kids are growing up and I have nothing keeping me going anymore. Had therapy but ended up developing romantic feelings for the therapist! This is how sad my life is, that is all I had to look forward to every week. Had to stop seeing him and I'm bereft . So I don't even have that anymore. Feeling rock bottom

Just a hand hold, in the darkness.

I feel the same OP. X

I feel the same. I don't know what to do. I just want to disappear but my children.... though then I think I'm hurting them more by staying around being miserable and angry all the time. I have really tried hard for past 15 mnths but crashed on Monday (it had been building) and, well, all the dark thoughts have returned. I've run out of joy and energy. It's not a "phase" because it doesn't go away. It's just masked.

I’m sorry you feel this way.

If you have been feeling down for couple of weeks is more than enough to make sure your GP refers you to mental health services. So tomorrow morning call to your GP, if they said they don’t have appointments, please mention you are not coping.
you can also try 111 if GP doesn’t have appointments available.

You could also try to volunteer somewhere. It will give you purpose and gratification. It won’t solve anything but it may help with giving you some distraction and positive interactions with others.

Have you seen a Dr? ADs gave me the boost to implement other changes. Tbh, I think I’ll be on them for life, but I don’t mind- it’s so much better now.

My last message was to you too, @onestepfurtheragain . Xx

Sorry to hear so many others are feeling the same way. I think ADs may be the way to go now but I'm not sure it's worth it.

@Shouldigoforarunorhavepancakes I already volunteer once a week.

🤝

Another hand hold here from me. I'm sorry things are so difficult right now and I hope they shift and change for you soon.

Sorry to hear you're feeling so crappy.

I would recommend meds! I started about 6 months ago, it made an incredible difference. I did do therapy and lifestyle changes first, but it all made no difference. Now with the meds I actually enjoy my life and am absolutely loving all my lifestyle changes and 'me time' that I put into place.

I’m a bit concerned you have gone so low and no anti depressants? I was offered then as soon as I asked my dr to sign me off

are you signed off work ?
st johns work is bloody expensive but works
b vitamins are essential to me and liquid iron when I run out I feel flat tired and no motivation , are you menopausal??? I started feeling insane at 43
you are not alone please message me anytime in the night I have insomnia so love a night chat
you will not feel like this next year I promise

Weight lifting is helpful for me ?? And weighted blanket
xxxxxxxx ( (( hug)))))xxxxxxxxxxxxx

OP and anyone else feeling this way my inbox is always open for a chat ❤️

I'm on AD, Dr is switching them at the moment.

Depression is the worse thing ever

Hand hold OP

I felt like this when I was perimenopausal. I also had just escaped from an emotionally abusive relationship. HRT and time helped me.

Sending hope and hugs

MerleandBianca agreed, menopause for me has made it worse. On hrt now but still struggling. Just don't want to be here right now

Hi OP
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Thank you 🙏🏼

Georgeismydog I hope you start to feel better soon 🌺

Thanks for replying @ObieJoyful. The only person to acknowledge it/me despite all the people in my life and on this forum. I feel very unlikeable and unlovable.