Husbands depression

[Twenty3]

My husband has depression. He seems to cope fine at work, he is low when he is at home with our young children and doesnt cope well looking after them. He is on medication but doesn't seem to be working. The illness it starting to affect me. I never know when he is going to be unwell. I am off on maternity leave but go back to work soon and worried his mental health will worsen when I go back to work as he will need to look after children somwtimes when i am at work. Any advice on how to cope with living with depression.

Can he increase dosage or change medication?

Does he know why he is depressed? Is there a reason? If so what steps is he taking to address this?

What was he like before the depression, was he able to cope with the DC then?

Is this a chronic thing or recent anything being it on?

If part of it is exasperated by child care I would recommend trying CBT or something so it’s less overwhelming

He has changed dosage numerous times, as advised by doctor.
He doesn't know why he is depressed. He coped fine with first child but since second was born has become unwell.

He tried counselling but counsellor said he couldn't do anything as no specific reason. But not sure if he just wasn't being honest with counsellor.

Has he had blood tests eg B12 and iron levels?

Has he seen a psychiatrist or psychologist or only a Councellor?
A good psychologist can’t prescribe medication but they should be able to help with therapy.

I can understand how he might be able to hold it together but struggles at home. From a self preservation point of view, look after yourself. It is so easy to ruin yourself whilst trying to save someone else. I know. Best wishes OP.

CBT is different to counselling and often a different therapist. It basically gives you tools to manage and adjust thinking where as counselling you are talking. I had both that I didn’t open up properly the first time but then a few years later after PND I tried again and it all worked.

This sounds unlikely unless he didn’t engage with the therapy.
I might be wrong but I get the impression that he would rather wallow in his misery than try to sort it out. I understand that MH issues are difficult but that doesn’t absolve one from considering the impact on those around us, especially as you are dealing with a young children too.
Do you feel that he is using it as an excuse at least partly?

What about some couples therapy OP?

Dont leave this until it’s too late to fix!

How does his depression manifest, @Twenty3? Not to be cynical, and the two situations could be entirely different, but I have a close friend whose DP is depressed. She's told me that she suspects it's bollocks as he manages to work, do his hobby, and go out with his friends on a regular basis, but the bouts seem to come on when it comes to looking after their children - he takes himself off to bed and spends hours watching movies and/or on his phone. She's spoken to him about it, as he has been to the doctors and has been on sertraline for a while, but it seems it's not helping and he is very precious about his mental health and "self care" time . . .