Giving up

[prettyinscarlet]

I lost my dad just a week ago, a day before Christmas eve- unexpected death so I am still in a state of shock and disbelief and had to travel alone to the funeral and comfort my mum as she was sick with covid, however, had to return after a week as husband had to travel to see his dad who was recently diagnosed with a serious cancer. We have a small baby at home so he was taking care while I was away, now I'm back home alone with the baby and worried sick as having some hospital appointments coming up due to my own recently emerging health problems and have no support and no one to leave the baby with, no mental support as he is away. To add he didn't even ask how I was coping since he left to see his family. I am just clueless as to what to do now with myself going through the bereavement and extreme worry about my own health. Please help.

Hello
I'm really sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. Also I'm sorry to hear that your husbands dad is ill..sounds an awfully difficult situation all round.
How far away is your mum? Could she come and stay with you in a while to support each other? If she is able to health wise, that is.

So sorry to hear of your struggles. Can you get help from health visitor (mine was excellent and diagnosed PND and got me some support as no family nearby) Hugs

Hello,

So sorry to hear of the passing of your dad and the health concerns you are having to cope with for yourself and extended family.

I can imagine how stressful this time is. I currently have a 12 week old and can really sympathise feeling all over the place when you need to be going to appointments but the last thing you sometimes want to do is get baby out of the house.
Little things that may help: 1. Using a baby sling so that you can easily walk around to appointments without worrying about transferring baby into and out of prams plus baby waking up. Usually they sleep very well in the sling or are just happy to be very close to you. You can get great quality slings on Vinted for very cheap!

1. Is there someone who could go with you to the appointments and just sit outside with your baby, if you don't have anyone around you trust enough to stay in your house baby sitting.
2. Tell your GP or health visitor what you are going through. You may be able to have some appointments on the phone or on a video call if it's hard to get somewhere with baby. They should also look into other types of support for you including bereavement support
3. Not sure how doable this one is but maybe as a last resort, Could you get in touch with a childminder or nursery to have your baby for one day a week and then book all your appointments for that day of the week?
4. Is there anyone in the family you could ask to come and stay with you whilst your husband is away.

You are going through a tough storm but you will get through and come out stronger. Communication with your husband is so important. Tell him you completely understand he needs to be there for his dad but ask to work out a plan together so that you can also get the help you need.
Wishing you all the best and remember, you've just had a lot happen all at once but you will feel better. It might take weeks or months but you will feel better.