What can I do to improve my life?

[ertu]

I'm divorced - abusive relationship
Kids - I'm the RP but kids still see their dad
Love my job but doesn't pay much. I supplement my income with creative stuff which again I love but doesn't pay well
I do lots of stuff that I love: running, exercise, work outs, being in nature etc

What's lacking: friendships have dwindled as I don't have time/my life has changed so much since leaving ex I have had to start again and it's hard to rebuild all of that from scratch

Being a single parent you get left out of couples stuff. I feel lonely a lot.

Dating is hard. I don't trust anyone and friend zone every potential man I meet.

What can I do to combat loneliness and rebuild my social life?

Anyone else like me...would be great to chat

I feel the same way and trying to build my social life but it is difficult. I'm usually ok but this time of year is worse when all clubs and activities stop. How old are your children?

Starting from scratch is hard so how about reconnecting with old friends?
Right now it sounds like you have 2 jobs that don't pay well but they are taking time out of your life, I would look into 1 better paid job. That should free up more time.

Since you love being outdoors the first thing I'd do would be join meet up groups or young ramblers group for walks, or do a park run. Walks would be my first choice as you get more chance to chat (although our local park run has lots of little groups that go for coffee after)

It'll take time to build friendships but will be worth it in the end. The best thing I ever did for my mental health was start walking with friends a couple of times a week - the one person I walk with was just an acquaintance/friend of a friend who said she fancied more exercise, I asked if she wanted to walk weekly and we've been friends ever since.

They are teens now. How about yours?
I'm definitely finding this era of parenting the most challenging so far, on top of the other single parent challenges.

I'm not quite there with free time yet, kids still need me after school and at weekends for lots of things but it's a good shout to find local walking groups etc.

Join a choir, ramblers
belly dancing
just get out there and start having some social interaction with people.

I do already do some group stuff, but I think I find making deeper connections harder, so after doing stuff in a group I often feel lonelier after, does anyone know what I mean?

Could you join some classes / sessions related to your creative side? The arts / crafts are great for uniting people over a common interest.

It's funny you said that today! I literally enrolled on an art class today. Really looking forward to starting.

That's great! I go to a weekly life drawing session. All ages, women, men, beginners, keen amateurs and a couple of professionals. Single, married, single parents, widowed etc. All looking at each other's work, talking about techniques and materials. It's a great social group as well. Great friendships formed there. I know it's the highlight of many's week (and mine). And being artists, they're very friendly, accepting of everyone. It's also very absorbing, and I expect some people use art as a kind of therapy. Hope it goes well!

I’m sort of in the same situation and I think I’m looking for connection and meaning in my life.

Im trying to think of it a bit like when I was dating as a teenager. You have to be out an awful lot and meeting lots of different people if you want to meet that one or two people that you feel you really connect to.

The usual advice is to join groups in things that interest you. I would suggest groups that involve your passion may work better. If you share a passion, you are more likely to bond.

Im lucky and have more free time than you and I’m looking to volunteer and am thinking of joining women’s groups and animal charities to meet like minded women.

I’ve been there too – starting over is hard, but small steps toward connecting with others, even through shared activities, can help rebuild your social circle. Don’t rush into dating; focus on building trust with yourself first, and the right people will come when you’re ready.

Thank you @HoppyFish! Your art class sounds fantastic. I like trying out new things but it's such a good point to do things you are passionate about as well (although that seems obvious) in a social setting.

I know what has led to my loneliness - but looking around me at others - I wonder if it's actually much more common than it seems?
You really do have to get yourself out there.

You are so right about sharing passions. Sometimes the answer is staring you in the face!