I live in my head

[Ilovr]

I'm constantly in my head, I can't seem to just live in the moment. And no matter how hard I try I just can't. I'm constantly thinking about my past, things I don't want to think of ( humiliating and shameful) things . My overthinking is so bad, that I will Google scenarios that exist in my head.

It's almost as if I always want to be prepared for anything scary life will throw at me. If I see a post of Mumsnet that maybe says " my husband asked me for a divorce out of the blue", it will play on my mind, then I will ask myself how will I cope if that happens to me, will I be okay financially, will someone else find me attractive.

Then I will Google something such as how to avoid a divorce. I know hey, so stupid, it actually makes me sad to type this out. I talk to myself most of the time in the day, having conversations with myself( imagining myself in certain scenarios) it makes me feel like I'm sick in the head. This is the only time I only feel control in of my life. Day dreaming.

I am married with 2 kids and have a wonderful husband. I just feel like maybe I don't know myself. That I have a low self esteem and I escape in my mind to cope with it at times. I don't know. And no, I haven't tried therapy, I feel stupid even thinking about it. I just want to know if some of you can maybe relate

You have high anxiety.

Generalised anxiety with rumination
Constantly planning for what if scenarios
Worrying about coping?
Common feared outcome underlying?

There are lots of self help strategies online

You need to unhook from being in your head and train your attention to the present moment

Not saying you have it, but this sounds a lot like either really severe anxiety, or even OCD if you’re fixating a lot on one specific thing (ocd isn’t just about cleaning: it can also be about focusing on ‘bad’ things you’ve done, things you feel guilty about obsessively).

I’d recommend going to a GP and getting a diagnosis, and hopefully some more specific treatment.

When did this start? Was there a particular incident or conversation or is this something you've done for a long time but now need to deal with it?

Oh, and BTW, most people live in their heads a lot of the time - we're the only creatures that have an imagination. So please don't think you are in any way abnormal (despite the three snap diagnoses in the first three replies).

I have always internalised things, or rather overthink. I have always lived in my head ever since I can remember but maybe not so intense. After birth and marriage, it intensified. I feel like I'm never truly myself. I'm always somewhere floating on clouds. In my own world. Like I said above, I will Google things such as how to avoid a divorce, how stupid, if my husband wants to leave or is not happy in the long run. He will leave.Nothing can stop that. I hate that my mind is so busy, It makes me feel like I am an inadequate parent, I don't want my kids to have a mother who is not resilient or lacks confidence and esteem

I'm just heading out to feed horses and other animals (they have no concept of holidays!) so will just say have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis. But to reiterate, you are not ill or strange or inadequate - it would be good for you to understand how your mind works and how you can can control it, rather than feel at the mercy of your thoughts.