Hello All, I'm from India.
This is the life of an eldest daughter.
I've always been the daughter who knew the value of education. While my family was comfortable with a middle-class life, I saw the money problems at home and vowed to one day make them disappear. But to do that, I had to sacrifice my own dreams. I wanted to go to college, to experience life like everyone else, but when my father became too ill to work, I had to step up. I didn’t get to live a normal college life. Instead, I worked, traveling 20 kilometers and taking three to four buses every day, just to make it to my job. I had to be ready in just 10 minutes, smiling for clients so I could earn money for my family.
Love hasn’t been any kinder to me. I've had boyfriends who were loud, selfish, and never made me happy. My focus was always on my family—providing shelter, covering daily needs, and being the support my siblings needed to succeed. I carried all of this without a single complaint. But when I finally started living my life the way I wanted, my family turned on me. They judged me, pointed fingers, and tried to control my choices.
I fell in love, believing I’d finally found someone who would give me the beautiful life I dreamed of. But he was too afraid to commit, and in the end, he cheated on me, using religion as an excuse. That betrayal broke me for a year. But somehow, I found the strength to rebuild myself and came out stronger.
Still, life hasn’t stopped testing me. I’ve faced trauma since childhood, and I’ve had friends who mistook my kindness for something more, only to leave when reality set in. I’m just tired. What I want most is peace—a peaceful life or at least a peaceful place to call home. My work is overwhelming. I’m doing the job of three people in just nine hours, stretching myself thin every single day. My brain is on the verge of shutting down from the constant pressure. But no one at home understands the mental stress I’m under. They can’t see what it’s like to work non-stop for eight years without a break. My body and mind are crying out for rest, but I keep going because I’ve always wanted to give my family a better life—a family that only seems to want more from me. When it comes to my own needs, they just don’t get it.
They didn’t save anything for my marriage. My father is an alcoholic who refuses to give up his drinking, smoking, and gambling. My mother pretends to listen to me but only does what benefits her and my father. My brother is impatient when I try to guide him; all he cares about is playing cricket, even though it’s not taking him anywhere. He raises his voice when I try to help him see the bigger picture. My sister is in her own world, completely detached from the family’s struggles. She lives in a fantasy, thinking we’re a perfect family and only cares about living a lavish life, ignoring the reality I face every day.
When I try to carve out my own space, they interfere, destroying my mental peace. Sometimes, I feel like giving up on life. But then I think about what would happen to my family without me, and I push those thoughts away. I’m always thinking about how to make things better, while everyone else seems content with settling for less.
My love life is a mess. I’ve never been lucky enough to find the man of my dreams—the kind of man who takes charge and treats me like a gentleman. Instead, I end up with men who can’t meet even my basic emotional needs, who make me feel like I’m asking for too much when I’m only asking for the bare minimum.
I’m not happy with this life. I don’t know where I’m headed. There’s so much unhappiness in my life—my work, my love life, everything feels like one big disappointment. I just want a way out of this, a glimpse of hope in a life that feels endlessly difficult.
Now, I'm in another relationship, and I can't shake the fear that this one might fail too. Deep down, I know what I deserve. I deserve someone who cherishes me, who makes me feel like the most important person in the world. But instead, I find myself settling for less than that. I share my thoughts and feelings with him, and he listens, even nods like he understands, but nothing ever changes. He doesn't do anything to make things better, to reassure me that this relationship is worth fighting for. And I don't know what to think anymore. He spends time with me, we hang out, we go shopping together, and he loves cooking with me. But there's something missing, something essential that I can't quite put my finger on.
It's that spark, that deep connection where you feel like the other person would do anything for you, where they're madly, desperately in love with you. That feeling just isn’t there. He doesn't talk about our future together, and I don't feel completely safe with him. His words don't give me comfort or confidence, and I don't feel like he's truly proud of us, especially when it comes to how he presents our relationship to others.
I yearn for real passion in a relationship, the kind of love that makes you feel alive, that consumes you in the best possible way. But it's starting to feel like I'm asking for something that doesn't exist, something he's just not capable of giving me. I don't want to believe that there's someone else out there for me, not when I love him so much. But love on its own isn’t enough, is it? I need to be loved with the same intensity, the same passion that I'm willing to give. And right now, I'm left wondering if that's what I have.
I know I'm going through an incredibly tough time right now. I’m carrying the weight of my family’s expectations and responsibilities, and it’s really taking a toll on my mental and physical health. I’ve sacrificed my own dreams and desires to take care of them, but I often feel unappreciated and misunderstood.
In my relationships, I’ve struggled to find the love and connection I truly deserve. This has left me feeling unfulfilled and questioning if I’ll ever experience the deep passion and commitment I long for. I’m constantly giving but not receiving the emotional support and recognition I need. The fear of settling for less than what I deserve is always on my mind, and I feel overwhelmed and uncertain about what the future holds.
I’m carrying a lot, and I’m searching for both inner peace and a love that matches the intensity and dedication I bring to my relationships.
I'm feeling utterly lost and trapped in a desperate situation. My relationship with my boyfriend, which has been going on for almost two years, has been a source of pain and regret, especially after we had a medical termination a year ago. The memories of that incident still haunt me, and I'm struggling to come to terms with the emotional turmoil that followed.
Recently, I confided in my sister about my emotional state, hoping she would offer some support and understanding. However, she used that sensitive information against me during a fight we had 20 days later. The fight started because I confronted her about her behavior, specifically her lack of contribution to household chores and her constant use of her phone. I felt overwhelmed and frustrated, as I've been shouldering all the responsibilities alone.
But instead of listening to my concerns, my sister lashed out at me, saying hurtful things about my character and behavior. She even brought up my past relationships, making me feel ashamed and guilty. My mother and brother were present during this argument, which made me feel even more humiliated and vulnerable.
I left the house, feeling threatened and emotionally drained, and went to my boyfriend's place. However, my mother's reaction to the incident has made things worse. Three days later, she confronted me about my past relationships and the pregnancy, implying that I'm no longer a "pure" daughter. She made me feel like my sacrifices for the family have been erased, and I'm now being judged for my personal choices.
The situation has become even more complicated because my sister's outburst has put pressure on me to marry my boyfriend. I'm torn between my desire to escape the toxic family environment and my uncertainty about my relationship. My boyfriend's lack of clarity about our future together has added to my anxiety. When I asked him about moving in together, he agreed, but hasn't followed through on making any concrete plans.
I'm desperate to break free from this suffocating situation, but I don't know where to turn. I've told my mother that I want to move out and start a new life, but she's threatening to tell my father about my past, which will only lead to more judgment and criticism. I feel like I'm drowning in my emotions, and I'm scared that I might lose myself completely. I'm crying out for help, but I don't know who can hear me.