For 10 years I have been battling to get help for my daughter, its been impossible and she is no better just worse. This has made me so numb, infact I don't want to be here anymore as I hate the constant feeling of dispare, disappointment and hate for myself. I wouldn't do anything as I would never hurt my son, but often it's a chore to breath. I don't share my feelings with my partner because he doesn't understand, his only son from a previous relationship is getting on well and he has no problems or worries. Infact he often mocks me for feeling so low, I would just like one day where everything would go well. I look at other people and their lives run smoothly with minimal crap. Today, I was told fk off you ct , I then had to go to work, put on my mask and be happy. I never ever hurt people I go out of my way to be kind and helpful with people who need help, but I always get mammouth tasks and hardship as if I attract it. I see the nasty school bullies or absolute ws in life get along so beautifully and it makes me want to curl into a ball. This is not a feel sorry for me post, I just need to tell someone.