Struggling with anxiety about baby getting hurt

[Malorcamum]

Hi everyone, I'm 4 months postpartum with a beautiful, healthy, happy baby boy. He's the light of my life and I'm lucky to have a brilliant support network around me.

I've been struggling with quite a lot of anxiety and intrusive thoughts though. I don't worry about whether I'm a good mum or whether he's healthy, luckily, but I'm terrified of him being in an accident.

The worst part is the intrusive thoughts- I won't go into details but my brain seems to want to conjure up images of him being hurt and I find it really distressing. Recently there's been a lot of coverage on the news about children being hurt and I find it really triggering. I've tried not watching the news but it's hard because it's everywhere- sometimes I'll be driving along and turn on the radio and hear something awful.

I know the thoughts are irrational- recently it's been 'what if he gets kidnapped by the Taliban?'- but knowing they're irrational doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I just don't know how other mums do it- how are we supposed to be at peace whilst being responsible for such beautiful, fragile little beings? How do I let him go out and explore the world without having a breakdown?

I love him so much my heart hurts.

I'm going to talk to a maternal mental health nurse because I know this isn't healthy, but I'm also wondering if any other mums are in the same boat and if you have any advice on how to cope?

Thanks in advance xxx

Count your blessings. People have babies with serious health problems.

Is that supposed to be helpful?

Hey. My kids are grown up now but I do have diagnosed OCD and I've experienced LOTS of intrusive thoughts on many subjects over the years.
There is a charity called Maternal OCD run by a woman called Diana Wilson which might be worth a google for you. Also a book called Overcoming intrusive thoughts you may find helpful. I feel for you, intrusive thoughts/doubts are awful. Xx

Hi there it's a midwife. You are not alone. I would say talking to a maternity mental health nurse is a really good idea. I don't have any personal experience but didn't want to read and run

Do you have any friends with older children? Perhaps in the 6-11 age range? I found talking to more experienced mothers quite helpful to ease my mind when I was having (and still do) intrusive thought about things that could go wrong. I find it comforting to hear other mothers say they experienced similar feelings in the beginning.

@Ilovedogs1 that’s really helpful thanks, I’ll check out that charity! And sorry to hear you’ve experienced intrusive thoughts too xx

@Kosenrufugirl thanks, I’ve called and left a message <3

@MyLovelyLily I have one friend with older kids, I’ll ask her! I do find it comforting that the more experienced mums with older kids don’t seem to be so anxious xx

Reading your post I was thinking about the huge change we go through when we become Mums. We are suddenly responsible for this tiny, precious being who we love so much it hurts, and although it is so joyful and wonderful, it is also terrifying. And our brains are set up to assess risk and protect. So it sounds to me like you are currently going into full blown risk assessment and considering all possible scenarios.
I am not a massive fan of a diagnosis just to be transparent, although I completely respect that this may be OCD and intrusive thoughts, but I was just wondering about accepting the part of you that just wants to keep your baby safe in a world where we realistically don't know what's going to happen. We can't know. Therefore I was thinking about possibly thanking your brain for considering this possibility and then just accepting that it is currently unlikely and get on with your day with your beautiful baby. If what I am saying sounds completely unreachable then I would suggest finding a therapist and working through this. Good luck.