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Feeling in despair, can anyone relate??

2 replies

xtinabale55 · 20/12/2024 13:57

I have just hit 40, I have a difficult 5.5 yr old I wanted kids sooner but due to no family or support I had to wait much older to be able to do this and cope, she is a terrible sleeper we are still dealing with this, I look very young but I feel older very tired, I have an awful unfulfilling job part time to fit around the school run but it does nothing for me, I have no friends from work and due to how my life has panned out bo close circle of friends I speak to my original bestie from school via messager but I feeel totally alone! I had 3 miscarriages this yr which has been the cherry on the cake of utter crap! I am worried to death about my only child's future if we don't end up having anymore, I never expected to see myself like this at 40, I feel invisible, lost, friendless, careerless, lonely, bored and utterly depressed and I don't know what to do about any of it! I have hit a brick wall and I don't know if I'm losing my mind or if I'm just severely depressed but I just feel so so sad! How did I end up like this and am I just having a really bad day! Xmas I find this toy so hard bc it's a reminder of the family we don't have and the awful family my partner has, sisters and mother in law doesn't bother with us they're a funny bunch, we don't know why they are as they are but I just feel like I need a total life change maybe but wth I am going to do or where I start I do not know! Feel like I'm losing my poor mind and for sake of my daughter I can't I have to keep my head what is wrong with me?!

OP posts:
catphone · 20/12/2024 14:08

This might feel like a drop in the ocean but I feel better after taking multivitamins

Gooddaysarecoming · 20/12/2024 14:22

Thank you for posting. I sympathise with you and understand your struggles as also in my 40s and facing similar challenges.

Have you been to uni or college? If not, this could possibly give a fresh start to your life’s new chapter. The funding and extra financial help from uni might help with finances. It worked for me anyway when was studying with a child.

Christmas makes us reevaluate our life and attends extra pressure. Your daughter deserves a happy mum, so worth changing things for her.

I think depression kicks in when our basic needs are not met and we have more unrealised potential ( personal opinion). A worry jar done wonders for me, where you can put notes with each worry and put it away/seal. With time, 80-90% of worries tend to settle.

Short term, can you do smth for yourself just to show yourself how precious you are. Sending love!

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