I am not sure how much more I can take of my DS and his MH problems, or what I can do about it all. I am sorry if this sounds very unsympathetic but it has been going on for months and I have tried so hard to help him and have gone above and beyond to give him solutions but he will not help himself, and there is only so much I can do before he needs to take some responsibility himself.
He failed all his GCSEs much of this is a massive failure of the education system, he has severe learning difficulties and after being repeatedly reassured the school had it all in hand, he failed everything. He wasn't cut out for mainstream school but doesn't tick enough boxes to get into a specialist setting.
He started a new course at college last Sept but wasn't enjoying it and gradually his attendance began to slowly decrease to the point they wouldn't have him back.
He can't get a job. No where will take him. I manage to get him interviews but he just isn't very good at them so he never gets past the point of interview.
I have managed to get him on a traineeship for next year but we don't have a start date for this - but it should provide him with equivalent qualifications to GCSEs and also some hands on work experience in a field he is interested in, with the potential for an apprenticeship at the end.
I have also got him a volunteering job to gain him some retail experience and just give him some purpose. All he needs to do is complete some online learning to be able to get started - he is refusing to do it.
I have also gone through all the paperwork and referrals to get him some help with the MH, and he is on the waiting list for CBT/talking therapy.
He has no purpose in life what so ever, as a result his mental health is suffering. He was convinced for months and still is to some extent that he has a heart problem. Despite multiple trips to the GP, an ECG and other reassurances he still believes there is something physically wrong with him and won't accept that this is a result of having no routine/structure and human contact in his life. His sleep is also shocking.
We have now moved on to a new health condition - he is getting headaches. So now believes there is something wrong with his brain.
He requires constant reassurance, will only talk about his health/symptoms and goes on and on and on about it. I have got to the point where all sympathy and kindness has gone out of the window and I just snap at him and get cross. I don't want to talk about it all any more.
He is barely helping around the house, whilst I am working full time and have other kids to look after. I really can not stress how kind I was initially. His confidence had taken a huge nose dive so I have found alternative things for him to do.
He is now saying he wants to get a job and not do the volunteering because his friend told him its a waste of time - I should add I work in a careers service so i know how valuable volunteering can be. I also know on a personal level how good it would be for him to gain the practical experience needed to be able to get through an interview. But no - his mate who works in a shop knows best!
He is now sat breathing down my neck whilst I am trying to work because he wants me to book him another Drs appointment to discuss his headaches. The Drs dont open for another 30 mins. I feel like screaming. Its absolutely suffocating. He has become so needy, coming into my room at night, disturbing my sleep and waking my partner/baby who are in the same room as me. Wanting me to stay up late with him because he can't sleep. I want him out of the house so I can have a break and just get on with my job in peace! I have tried to get him to stay with relatives for a bit so I can have a break but he phones me constantly saying its making him anxious and giving him chest pains. He is 18 for christ sake. I feel like he needs more care than my baby does.
I feel on edge whenever I am around him because I know it won't be long before he starts talking about his issues but won't take on any of the advice I give him or try to help himself.
I just don't know what to do. I feel like its getting to the point where i am going to have to seek help for my own MH because it is being so negatively impacted.