I worry how I’ll cope

[RainingandClouds]

My parents are both 83, father in a care home as has dementia and mum now in her own. I’m an only child with adult children, not that close to either of them, otherwise no problems. Because my mum is elderly I help her when I can, go out for coffees, bit of shopping most weeks but I worry how I’ll cope when she’s gone. The thought scares me to death. We’re very similar not at all like I am with my daughter. The future scares me. Has anyone been through this with any help,or advice, thanks?

You'll cope because that's what we (humans) do - cope. We are incredibly adaptable to changes in circumstances, both good and bad. Is there anything specific you are scared about?

Thanks for replying. I worry about how sad I’ll feel once they’re both gone, especially my mum who I’m close too.

When the time comes you will be very sad OP, it’s inevitable unfortunately. You will cope though. Do you feel like your life is centred around your mum or do you have friends, a partner?

@Startrekkeruniverse I don’t feel my life is centered around my mum, but she’s a big part of my life. We have a great relationship and as I’ve not much in the way of family, I know I’ll feel it more. I have a partner and a few friends, but we’re not close.

As we get older and our parents get older op I think it's only human nature in how our mind goes to thinking how will I cope when they are gone,what will life be like,sadly I've lost both parents and it hit me hard and had to use a bereavement counsellor twice to deal with coming to terms with.

As a previous poster said unfortunately it's something we adapt to when it happens.but it's just human nature to think about this.rather then dwelling on it try to remain positive think of those nice shopping trips and days out with your dear mum.hold on to those memories OP and cherish every moment of it,life is very very short but right this moment enjoy every moment of it together.

@Blueeyedmale Yes I do make the best of time, we’re going out today which isn’t unusual for us. Sorry to hear you lost both parents, do you mind me asking if you found bereavement counselling helpful?

For me bereavement counselling was very helpful I had a lot of feelings and emotions running through my head a lot of questions that went around in my head.i was able to explore those issues with a very understanding calm and friendly counsellor.

I got a lot from it but the answers that I couldn't I got that acceptance that it's something I couldn't change and focus on the positive times we had together rather than the negatives.

I hope you have a lovely day with your mum today