Anyone else struggling?

[Onetwobuckeroo]

Anyone else just struggling with life? It’s Christmas with young children, isn’t this supposed to be the best time ever? but I can’t help but wish for Spring.

Anyone else just feel like pulling the duvet over their heads and hoping to wake up in January? Or to just disappear?!

shouty is where I was today too. I feel awful about it because I want to be the perfect understanding mother but I kind of couldn't keep it up today.

You're doing an amazing job to manage 4 under 6 years old. That must be an extraordinary amount of work, especially with illness in the mix. I'm sorry about your friend.

Sorry to hear that. I understand how you feel but soon it’ll be another year and all that. Hugs x

You’re doing amazing xx

I’m so sorry to hear that. I have 3 x kids 6 and under. I work FT in a stressful job (although currently signed off). I feel trapped, stressed, can’t breathe and generally in constant fight or flight mode.

You're doing great. Keep going, you got this xx

@tiptoesfirst I bet your the best mum you can possibly be at the moment, and if that's a shouty mum then that will have to do I suppose, at least we still show up ehh?
Despite everything we have to drag ourself up every single day and repeat the mundane shit, it's extremely exhausting isn't it, but we don't give up that's what matters in the end ❤️‍🩹
I think this a lot about my own mum,
she was always very shouty and overwhelmed when I was a kid, but she was always around and I have a lot of respect for her in that regard

@Onetwobuckeroo fight or flight, that's exactly it... im constantly being pulled in different directions, I can't work currently my oldest two have ASD and they require a lot of time and supervision especially around my 9 month old, they have little awareness when it comes to other people's space/boundaries
They will much rather go through than around 🫣
But yes... trapped is definitely a word I'm familiar with
But I bet you're doing a cracking job!

@Littlemiracles232504 yes I know what you mean. It's being there isn't it?

I do try constantly.

It's helpful hearing a pp say about having lost her Mum. I didn't even realise I had lost mine until she said that, as things have been so frantic. My DM is still alive but with Lewy Body Dementia and so she lives in an imaginary world. I can't possibly tell her anything about my real life as it would be too distressing for her. She used to be my big confident and she was such a wonderful Mum. Just like Maria in the Sound of Music.

There's a long thread today bashing home ed people and it just kicked me so hard where it hurts, as I'm working like a dog to care for my DS. The people on that thread couldn't possibly conceive of the love, care and money it takes to home ed a child with medical PTSD and ASD. They just couldn't even imagine it.

I am
Feelings of total inadequacy and stress
I can't leave my house cos health issues but got a letter telling me I must go for a job seekers interview in person

This time of year is a real struggle for me.
So much pressure and stress, right down to family who only pick up contact in the hope of scoring presents for their bratty children, who never bother with us.
I would love to just stay in bed and read a book.
I'm in Australia, so it's hot as hell - 45'C two days ago!
I have not decorated, can't be bothered.
We are not religious, I'm no contact with 95% of my relatives and we see DH's family often, so why is it suddenly such a pressured time?
I'm exhausted .
My anxiety is ramped up, worrying what stunt my estranged mother and her husband will pull this year. 🙄

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I am
turning in for the night although I’d prefer to reply to you all individually. I’m so grateful for the messages of support and the vibe of it’s not just me. I wish everyone on here virtual hugs.

I’m glad it turned out to be a friendly safe space. This time of year is tough for so many, for so many different reasons xx

Gosh that does sound very challenging. If you want to dump all your worries here, we could help by listening, if that would be useful.

I was housebound with anxiety for ten years and am now helping my DS through the same, so I totally get how hard it is. Anxiety can be really really difficult can't it?

45C is really too much isn't it? Do you have aircon? We had 42C a few years ago with no aircon and it was really really too much. I was able to dry washing on the line at night.

Yes but I don't have a good reason really. I love Christmas and don't pressure myself for it to be perfect but I'm stressed and a bit over committed and it's so bloody dark and DC (all SN) have a load of additional things going on at school/college which I have to remember and facilitate.

I do hope everyone else is able to find that extra strength to battle through or to say no where needed.

@tiptoesfirst I'm sorry to hear about your mum, that's really bloody sad!
At least you've got wonderful memories of your mum
This time of year just amplifies all the crap that's going on in our lives though right?
All the pressure to have a "merry Christmas"
Drives me up the wall, I'll only have a smile on my face Christmas Day because it's my boys birthday and the little ones will be all exited to open presents, but I'll be crying inside

Yeah, life is really tough right now. 4 weeks ago I ended up in hospital after it all got too much and I took an overdose...didn't work obviously and hopefully I'll get the support I need but sometimes I do wish I'd succeeded

Yes it's true. I just drew a map of our family and realised we've effectively lost three of the grandparents without having normal closure as two are still alive and one died in the lockdown, and we had terrible communication problems with two of them. Life is very muddled. I really hadn't thought about it properly until this thread.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered I'm sorry to hear this sweetheart, life is so precious, please reach out if you find yourself in that dark place again
Your so loved and worthy, you deserve to be happy 💐

I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't know what to say really. That sounds very hard. I hope you do get to see a good person.

I was thinking this too.

I'm struggling too. I can't even justify why because nothing particularly bad has happened to me which makes me feel guilty for even feeling like this. But I'm just so overwhelmed with life and I feel like I have a constant dark cloud over me. I go through all the motions of what I'm supposed to and I am pretty capable of it, but I'm just constantly miserable and unhappy. I'm doing everything I can to make this Christmas special for my young kids but I just don't feel it.

My dad committed suicide when I was young, it's a ripple effect for those that love you the most
My mum was affected by the trauma, which passed down to me, and now I can see so many similarities in myself now too, like how I deal with things, not very well apparently I find myself projecting my feelings onto everyone around me

Blimey, that sounds hard.

I'm with you.

Divorced in March. My dad is terminally ill and has deteriorated sharply this month. I'm struggling to get home carers for him via social services and at my wits end with that. I'll be spending most of Xmas day on my own, as dd going to her grandparents with her dad, and I won't get her back until the evening. I'll pop in to see my dad for an hour or two, but won't have a proper Xmas dinner as dd will have already eaten and my dad doesn't have any appetite. Feel very lonely right now.

I hope you get support you deserve it

I understand how awful this feels. I'm questioning whether to home school my son or not too because of his anxiety. He's already on a reduced timetable of only 2hrs at school. He's had play therapy which did dick all so I've sought a private psychologist, he's had one session so far, we can't afford weekly appointments so it's fortnightly, his next one is on Monday.

Listening to and attempting to reassure his numerous fears is so draining and soul destroying especially when dealing with your own mental health issues and feeling terribly guilty that you have probably genetically passed it on! On top of that he's been physically unwell and diagnosed with coeliacs disease this year, also has ASD and it's just all got on top of us as a family. I love him desperately and have pushed myself to burn out stage to help him.