Trigger Warning - Attempted suicide

[Patsy7299]

Looking for some advice please. My ex husband and I are on good terms, both have new partners we get on with and our daughter (25) also on good terms with us all.

My ex always had some anxiety but this has escalated due to work stress, resulting in him being sectioned and yesterday he attempted suicide but stopped himself. The dilemma I have is that DD has recently moved abroad and is looking for work with no family support. I have told them that their dad is sectioned and very low but I am so worried about telling her about the attempted suicide in case she does something also. I am going to see her in 2 weeks and will tell her face to face but ex husbands family are insisting she needs to know now which I think is too much.

I am worried sick and at a loss as to best route. I will add that my DD has not mentioned returning home as only gone 3 months and her dad has also said he doesn't want her to see him this way.

does your DD also suffer with mh that would suggest she'd be at risk if hearing this news?

I am not a mh professional but my gut is that if you think that telling your daughter would in any way put her at risk then you shouldn't do it

Regardless of this, you are her mother, this is your call, not the call of extended family.

Your ex is an adult and so is your dd. What does the family think the benefit will be of your dd knowing? Nothing your dd can do about his health issues and my concern is why the extended family would want her to know his situation. Will it help her? What would she want to know?

Not diagnosed but suffers from anxiety and low self esteem

I agree. Right now it serves no purpose to tell her.

My DD will be upset however telling her when she’s abroad is not best IMO so not sure why they would think it is

Is there a risk of the extended family telling her if you don't? If so, it would be better coming from you as you can control the delivery.

It's your job to keep your dd safe. If you think she will react badly, then don't tell her.

I don’t think so as they know my feeling and my ex’s partner agrees with me

I think this too, my brain is fried as dealing with a DM with dementia as well

You are right - tell her face to face when you see her .
My daughter found out about her grandad’s health diagnosis ( accidentally ) when she was in Asia travelling and despite video calling her to discuss it / feelings etc it wasn’t the same as being able to hug her in person .

Thank you, I agree but just needed reassurance as it is so stressful.

Hi all, just an update. Ex has turned the corner and doesn’t want DD to know so definitely made correct decision. Responding well to meds and was allowed home for overnight stay at home. Thank you for all the advice.