I've been on fluoxetine for nearly 10 years. It's basically changed my personality for the better. I've always suffered severe anxiety that's impacted my sense of self, relationships, decisions, everything. I made a bad choice of man to marry and had two children with him before having a proper breakdown and going on these meds.
I've just taken a few months off and the clarity! Oh my god the clarity. It's been like a bomb going off. I can see how badly I'm treated , how I get up and run around after everyone all day and then crash to bed every night. I get no emotional support from my husband. He works full time and earns a lot so I stay home with the two kids.
I'm going to go back on the meds after Christmas because I've had time to reflect and while over appreciated the clarity and the ability to cry / feel angry, I actually can't cope with my life the way it is, and I don't have capacity to change anything. The me when I'm on tbe meds is patient, kind, outward looking and optimistic. I'm getting more and more angry and impatient and anxious and edgy and I can't cope.
My GP would read this and be like 'ok SSRI you tried, oh well, let's get you back on the meds' but it's just annoying. I kind of love my brain for all it's achieved for me work wise and with my kids but it can't cope with life. It's so annoying. If i could live in the woods in some sort of hippie commune I think I would cope fine. I just need to be on my own every day for a few hours... no tech or demands