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Original poster

posting here under own name for once

40 replies

NappiesGalore · 30/04/2008 21:11

think maybe having kids and settling down was a bad decsion.
turns out im not really cut out for it.
feel like a cunt for not being happy with my lot.
feel like a cunt for my unhappiness making me a shit mum and my shit mum-ness making me unhappy.
just want to run away now.
maybe the only thing im good for is being a selfish cunt? dont appear to be much good for owt else.
sigh.

OP posts:
CristinaTheAstonishing · 30/04/2008 21:14

You are being v hard on yourself. Are there times when you feel you are actually a good mum? Have you spoken to anyone (e.g. GP) about it?

Lizzylou · 30/04/2008 21:18

Why do you feel like you're not cut out for motherhood?

Could you do anything else parttime/whatever(a course/work/voluntary work) to make you feel better about yourself?

FWIW I have phases of feeling like this, it's such a bloody shock to the system, being a Mother, so thankless most of the time.

Original poster
NappiesGalore · 30/04/2008 21:18

yup. am now under care of cmht. [intensely freaked out by that, actually]
i think theres nothing 'wrong' with me.
im just a loser.
all underperformance and wasted potential.
i should just go and be an agressive wino baglady and be done with it. i could find a nice park bench and piss on it lots to put people off it.

OP posts:
Original poster
NappiesGalore · 30/04/2008 21:20

have recently started a course. is v pert time and beginnery. aiming reeeeaaally low so i might actually finish something but actually its just cowardice isnt it.

OP posts:
Original poster
NappiesGalore · 30/04/2008 21:21

pert time would be quite interesting actually [smirk]

OP posts:
singyswife · 30/04/2008 21:21

Hiya, how many dc to you have??? You are not shit at it, I am sure that your kids are well fed, independant, loved little beings. That is all that counts. I dont know what makes you think you are a bad mum but you are not. The fact that you are worrying about it shows that you care. It is a definate shock to the system being a mum but at the end of the day you wouldnt be without them would you??? Take care and if you need my email address to speak to someone I will gladly give it.

Psychomum5 · 30/04/2008 21:23

am sending many hugs....donlt know how to make you mended or better, but you are most definately not what you think you are!!!

you are a lovely wonderful mummy and a fabulous friend and an amazing hostess so you should at least feel proud of that at the moment.

you boys are stunning and wonderful and love you dearly......keep hold of that

Original poster
NappiesGalore · 30/04/2008 21:25

i have 3 .
they are well fed, v dependent (under 5 all of them) and erratically parented.
i shout and scream. thats shit.
worrying about it doesnt make it ok. its still happening.
iyt is a shock, but you know? i might well be without them. im releived to be rid of them when they are 'difficlut'. i like them when theyre easy, i just want to shut them up otherwise.
thank you though.

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 30/04/2008 21:26

NAppies, Well done for starting the course - why is it cowardy to do something "part time and beginnery" ? It sounds eminently sensible if you ask me. If you take on too much too soon you wont enjoy it, if you start on something "easy" you will enjoy it and prepare yourself for more challenging courses in the future - well done to you for that.

Im sure you are a fantastic mummy, how many children do you have??

I know one thing, i never imagined it would be soo hard being a mum - i look at women in a whole new way now.

Original poster
NappiesGalore · 30/04/2008 21:27

i am psycho, i am.
but thanks anyway.

i have to go now, this thread making me wallow. need to go pretend im ok. [puts mask back on]

OP posts:
singyswife · 30/04/2008 21:28

As phsychomum says, you are not what you think you are. Im sure you are a good mum and a good person it is just sometimes life can get so stressful that you lose sight of things for a while (i have been there). You will be okay and your children will grow up in spite of you (my sil says that). Take care and I hope you feel better soon. If you want my email just shout and I can at least listen, Maybe not help but I can at least listen.

Psychomum5 · 30/04/2008 21:29

hey....they are loved and cared for and are having an amazing upbringing.

you think our kiddies aren't erratically parented at times???

be a fly on my wall tonight.....that would have been a shocker!!!!

we all feel crap, and you are feeling it a little more keenly and are caring enough to admit you are struggling....believe me, that is in no way the sign of a weak mother or a weak woman....that is the sign of a strong lady trying to get out and shout to be seen again.

you are just burried under all the day-to-day crapnss of parenting three very lively boys under 5!

TeeBee · 30/04/2008 21:31

God NappiesGalore, whose kids aren't erratically parented? We all shout and scream, and surely we all like them more when they are being easy. You are being very, very hard on yourself. Things will get better. And the kids will survive.

Anyone who has 3 kids in my opinion deserves a medal for just turning up! Anything else a bonus.

Plus you made me laugh with your use of the 'C' word - my favourite swear word!

lucyellensmum · 30/04/2008 21:32

3 children under five? AND a part time course? I have 2 children, 15 years apart so its been like having single children twice - i just look at people with more than one and think "i just dont know how you do it" I have to say, i was going to open a thread earlier saying "Am i the only one to be relieved when their DCs finally go to bed"? But DP buggered up bedtime so my feelings are more knackerd and frustration, thats another story.

Don;t be so hard on yourself, I can be a shouty mummy sometimes, i have a feeling i will be getting more shouty with time. DD is 2.5. I was a very shouty mummy to DD1 but now trying not to be, it doesnt always work.

Erratic parenting? whats that all about then? Dont we all parent erratically, show me a consistent parent and i'll show you a saint.

How old is your youngest? Have you spoken to your GP? You are so down on yourself, might be PND, you need to check this out. You do not deserve to be treating yourself this way - are you married or with your partner?

Lizzylou · 30/04/2008 21:43

3 kids under 5 and a part time course (pert time, does sound v interesting!), bleedin hell!
A beginners course is exactly right, I'm amazed you have time to fart tbh! I've just done the same, I have started a course to be an assistant for a job I should be able to do anyway iykwim, I just haven't the braincells to do anything else at the moment.
Don't be too hard on yourself.

Flame · 30/04/2008 22:38

Oh sweetheart

You know that I feel the same as you most of the time (in cheaper knickers though ).

It Is Not True.

I know you can't see that now, but then you will lift and you will feel good about yourself again.

Flamechick thinks you are the best woman in the world.

Flame · 30/04/2008 22:42

If it will help I will get in car and come to you tomorrow/you come here.

Heathcliffscathy · 30/04/2008 22:44

nappies fwiw i think parents that NEVER shout and scream are WEIRD.

and i think that anyone with 3 under 5s that doesn't get to brink like moments is weird too.

you are not what you think you are. you are much better.

stop being scared to be like someone else (your mum?) you are you. and you definitely are good enough. even when you think you're not.

be kind kind kind to yourself. what would you say to a mum of 3 under 5s that lived in a place far from friends and family? would you be so hard on them?

love you loads STOP being so hard on yourself.

xxx

Flame · 30/04/2008 22:44

I am going to repeat again that Flamechick loves you - and she don't like anyone

Original poster
NappiesGalore · 01/05/2008 11:05

thank you for being lovely everyone.
dp stayed home today and we're going out for lunch shortly. be nice to get out of house!

flame, of cousre flamechick loves me, im wonderful. in small doses. its the poor buggers who live with me who bear the brunt.

soph, id love a night out some time and wouldnt make it busman's holiday promise

OP posts:
Squirdle · 01/05/2008 11:16

Nappies, I don't know you, but when I saw Flame and Psycho last week, they were telling me what a fab woman you were!

I have 3 boys, 14, 5 and 3 and it's only now that the youngest are at school and nursery I have been able to begin to relax a little and be 'me'. 3 boys under 5 sounds tough to me, but it will change. None of us are perfect parents, we all shout (no matter what we say) It will get better!!

And if Flamechick loves ya, well, I needn't say more

Squirdle · 01/05/2008 11:17

Actually that should say 'what a fab woman you are'

Flame · 01/05/2008 12:11

Yay for going out

Psychomum5 · 01/05/2008 15:56

woohooo for going out......I rang to see how you were and am so glad that the reason for not speaking is the family outing

many hugs....and don't forget, my psychogirlie3 still wants to come live with you!!!!!

and after last nights performance (she and DD1 had a fisticuffs fight), you can have her for free!

Tortington · 01/05/2008 15:59

should just go and be an agressive wino baglady and be done with it.

according to caitlin moran - i'm yourgal

so if ever you can get rid of your kids and want to gt shitholed - let me know creamy custardo at hotmail dot com

oh - we can talk too