Childhood humiliation memories

[wildfellhall]

Does anyone have strong memories of being humiliated as a child in public by angry adults?

I'm interested in how these experiences never seem to go away regardless of time and therapy!

Have you had EMDR?

View them as the adult you are now, not the child you were then. The behaviour and actions of those people was entirely on them and you bore (bear) no responsibility for their shortcomings - which might have been due to things you knew nothing about. I

f you can forgive them, do that; if you can't them pity them and resolve to be the better person.

Thank you both! I haven't had EMDR but have recently heard about it.
Something happened recently which seems to have shaken the memories back into my mind!

Have you heard of CPTSD? One of the symptoms is flashbacks where you re-experience events from your past.

You might find CPTSD from Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker helpful.

Thank you, I always thought PTSD was for people who had been more severely traumatized than me but maybe it's more how it's affected you is it?

I had a bad experience when I was 4..I am now a grandmother and my granddaughter is 4. Sometimes I see her and remember my experience..then I move on from it. I won’t dwell on it.I think some things are always with you but you learn to live alongside them.

I don't know your background, so I don't know. It sounds like a flashback. There's lots of information online on how to deal with flashbacks that you might find useful.

EMDR is really, really helpful. When my mother died (ironically) I became so re-traumatised I was paralysed with fear and having panic attacks several times every hour. It works very quickly and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
While I think there is absolutely a place for talking therapies, I think adults with CPTSD already constantly relive their childhood traumas and need to be yanked out of that loop.

@wildfellhall C-PTSD is a very specific form of ptsd related to long-term childhood abuse. Humiliation is absolutely a form of abuse used by adults. It’s one of the most insidious and has the most long-lasting effects.

Definition of complex PTSD;

Complex trauma, which summates a total of precipitating traumatic events to complex PTSD, is currently being described as a horrific, threatening, entrapping, deleterious and generally interpersonal traumatic event, such as prolonged domestic violence, childhood sexual or physical abuse, torture, genocide campaigns, slavery etc. along with the victim’s inability to escape due to multiple constraints whether these are social, physical, psychological, environmental or other[12,13].

Please stop casually diagnosing strangers on the internet with serious psychological disorders. It doesn't help anyone.

Thank you for all your comments. I didn't mean to misrepresent myself. I am on a waiting list for a therapist who does that EMDR (? Sorry I think that's it) and it sounds appropriate.

I sometimes think the shaming I experienced as a child was profoundly formative & is present now in a kind of paralysis of action rather than a present sense of trauma.

It would be interesting to discover if some of that negativity could be even just neutralized or reduced.

@wildfellhall You didn't!

Interesting to read as I also feel I was repeatedly shamed as a child and have also become inert. I've always relived scenes and related current events to my past and kind of assumed everyone did this but it does sometimes keep me in a negative loop. I'll health earlier this year seems to have triggered a weird limbo state in me and I can't seem to get going again. I've got to the point I don't see the point in exerting myself at all and it feels safer to just not do anything involving people... Have been waiting 10 months for therapy now, so seeing something that resonates is helpful.

I I empathize Panic. I feel incredibly stuck.

Eyes, thanks, I'm just conscious that I don't want to claim anything about myself, I'm interested to discover what I can do to intervene somehow in the dominant forces inside me which keep me very locked in certain behaviors and a bit immature and absolutely not productive enough for my needs and happiness; I'm not saying 'I haven't won a gold medal at the Olympics' kind of deluded expectations. I'm talking about how mental health, I believe, allows you to do the things you need to do for a functioning life within your limitations but still able to act in your own interests.

I've had EMDR for childhood abuse. My mother was a great humiliator. I found it life transforming. One of the good things is that you don't have to tell the therapist the details of what you are working on while you are experiencing the EMDR.

I used to find several days of emotional discomfort and then the experience would settle and I could know that it happened but the intense feelings had evaporated.

Individual sensitivity, the experiences themselves and the skill of the therapist plus whether they are someone you can work with are all relevant.

Personally, I couldn't have simply decided not to let some things that happened bother me and I had a number of times in my life where I became totally paralysed in a flashback. This resulted in becoming mute, running away from social and work situations and psychologically collapsing. It's called trauma and it can be treated.
All the best to you OP.

Thank you Ithinkimanalien, that's really interesting. I've had years of talking therapy which did help but I wonder now if talking always reaches the location of toxicity!
I also think that having a psychiatric assessment might sometimes help if appropriate.

I mean in my case not yours Ithink!

All the best to you too xx

I have CPTSD from childhood neglect and brutality. It's important for you and your psyche to go and get a diagnosis. I didn't get a diagnosis until I was in my late 50's and as a result had a very difficult life.
Once you know what it is you can work on getting better, read up on the condition and look into treatment.
Undiagnosed CPTSD can be brutal and turn you into a recluse who trusts nobody.

what I can do to intervene somehow in the dominant forces inside me which keep me very locked in certain behaviors and a bit immature and absolutely not productive enough for my needs and happiness

That's your subconscious mind. It's job (amongst other things) is to keep you happy and safe. The strategy it created for that happiness and safety when you were little and had no agency in your life will be completely different to what's appropriate for the adult you but if your childhood meant that the protective element of your subconscious is still strong then it could be holding you back.

Thank you Eyes, yes that makes sense, as children we create a way to function.

Gettingby, thank you and all the best. I feel I need more expert help.