Does December and Xmas make you sad?

[hk1993x]

I don't know why I am writing this, I always feel December and Xmas time is such a trigger for me. I was really poorly last Xmas and it sent me into a mental health crisis. This year has been absolutely hell for me with my mental health, I even had ECT. I have anxiety, depression and OCD (been battling this for a long time).

I just wanted to reach out for a handhold at this time of year, I want to enjoy Christmas with my kids and family but all I feel is sadness and anxiety. I feel like such a rubbish mum, wife and person.

Let’s normalise ECT. It’s actually the safest procedure we perform under general anaesthetic in the UK and can be a really effective treatment- I have seen people completely change into their barely recognisable selves!

I am always poorly around Christmas too: it’s the enforced jollyness that doesn’t help. You are not alone!

I think the doctors were at a loss with me so offered me ECT, I wish it had worked but think it's more effective for depression than anxiety.

I know, I just want to feel the joy, for once. Without the fear of the anxiety. I wonder if it's possible to have PTSD from anxiety. Thank you for commenting, it's nice to know I'm not alone ❤️

This time of year gets to me, too. The darkness, the viruses, the tinned tunes bombarding me as I buy carrots, the shiny shiny shiny adverts and jingly jingly jingly bells....it all seems so false and almost hallucinogenic. I'm outside it all. I feel nothing, except anxiety that I'm feeling nothing when everyone else is having such a marvellous time.
I'd rather disappear completely and forget the whole thing.

It used to make me sad but this year I feel alot more positive.
You aren't a crap Mum.
Please be kind to yourself. Take it easy and try and find something little to give you joy x

yes absolutely hate Christmas, massively triggers my anxiety and I feel such a rubbish mum. I feel huge relief once January arrives.

Christmas triggers PTSD for me. So I don't do it anymore.

We embrace the old ways, we are off to Stone Henge for the solstice and that is pretty much it. We will give our 2 year old a little something from the Holly King.

It can be a lonely time if you are struggling with MH, as it seems like everyone else is having such a wonderful time and you can have the unrealistic expectation that you should be feeling the same, try and take as much pressure off yourself to enjoy things and just spend time with your family

Christmas doesn't but new year always makes me feel sad. It did when I was a child as well.

I have ocd, anxiety and adhd xxx

Please don’t use such words for yourself you’re so worthy, and you don’t even realize it. The fact that you’re here, wanting to make this Christmas special for your kids and family, speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. It’s okay to feel sadness and anxiety, especially after such a tough year. Give yourself grace you’re doing far better than you think.

I am with you. I have been unwell for 6 years now and all of them got unbearable in winter- I have emetophobia and OCD so winter bugs send me over the edge- and I've spent 2 Christmas's sectioned in hospital, which was just horrific.

Everything in my life is supposedly better now, but even though I used to love christmas, I really feel like I'm going through the motions now. I feel a sense of dread as December approaches and all of the joy seems to have left me.

I am trying to find bits that I like- for example fairy lights, christmassy candles every night, etc. But I've had to accept my limitations too, we're booked to go to an Indian restaurant on Christmas Day as I didn't want the big traditional family filled day.

I usually dislike Xmas and will
do this year too (that made me chuckle !) however , my dad’s dementia is rapid and so I’m treasuring the time with him more this year 😢
you aren’t a crap mum (the fact you say you are shows you care ) - kids don’t need much - just love / your company etc .
Be kind to yourself x
I hope you aren’t ill this year

Thanks everyone, glad to know I'm not alone. I'm trying to make Christmas exciting etc for the kids as they deserve it but also recognising its okay to rest too. I'm due to see my psychologist soon and he might make a med change so I'm worried about how that will affect me. I hope your all doing OK xx

@hk1993x i totally sympathise lovely, it’s around this time last year that my mental health took a nosedive and it’s hard to shake the feeling that it could happen again. But you are still here, still fighting and putting your kids first, that’s not easy when you’re feeling so anxious. I think we all feed into the myth that everyone is loving Christmas and having a wonderful time when I’m sure a lot of people are struggling and can’t wait for it to be over! Like another poster said, I hate new year! All the false hope of things being better just because we’re entering a new year!

i hope u get some time to relax and rest over Christmas too, there’s nothing wrong with that either 😘xx

Lovely to see you again hun, I know I just wish I could be better. Been a horrendously long year with mental health. I hope your doing well ❤️

I'm feeling it too, it feels like the nights drawing in and the darkness and grey days are not helping either. Guilt for not being in touch with some family, etc and feeling like it would be nice to run away from it all while wanting to make it nice for DCs etc. Not easy

I am very sad this year. I usually love Advent and the run up to Christmas but this year I have struggled with a significant bereavement. Worked on myself for 12 weeks in counseling and group therapy, came out the other side, only for a close friend who knew me better than I knew myself I reckon, to tear into me, humiliate me, subject me ti something pretty awful and leave me feeling pretty broken. So a lot of my social calendar has gone for the circle we mixed in, people are missing me and me them.
I still hold her in my thoughts. Such a 180 change.

I’m doing ok thank you, I feel like life is still a struggle sometimes to keep control of my mental health and emotions but in a better place than I was this time last year. Are you still doing your uni course? Does that help with your focus at all? I’ve changed job roles to something more stimulating and that’s definitely helped my state of mind xxx

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly2w4n9r79o

I like the idea of Christmas more than the reality and I wish I could find a way to enjoy it more. The reality is, the long dark days, dreary weather and pressure to be socialble sets me on edge. I think I rely a lot on routine to keep my mental health in check. I don't do well having a week away from work being home with my DH 24/7.

Yes, I find Christmas very hard. I am an only child, and I have no children of my own. I often worry about my future loneliness should anything happen to my partner.

Whilst I know it's far from everyones’ reality, the constant adverts showing large families sitting round tables of food having happy times together makes me feel like a real outsider and failure.

I hate Christmas music and it's impossible to avoid in the shops.

The long cold days make my anxiety worse too. I read something along the lines of ’the world is a cold dark place when you don't have family’ so now I associate the December weather with my situation.

Christmas to me is cruel. And I hate that it comes round every 12 months. It is too often!

I’m exactly the same, I had a mental health crisis last xmas and have been getting slowly better ever since. I’m in a much better place now but this week feel quite vulnerable ( doesn’t help I’ve had my period) and I’m starting to remember last year and get a bit anxious… I just want to enjoy it with my family but really just want it over!

I'm struggling with my husbands drinking, worried that will get worse over Christmas. Also have two teenage sons (who don't drink) and about the impact on them. Not easy.

Yep, I always have a 'blip' at this time of year and I know others who do too.

I think it's a combination of pressure, dark weather, reminder of loss of family or mourning old Christmases, coming out of routine, financial pressures.

Having a blip last two months, partly due to horrible virus having both physical and mental effect and lack of exercise. It's always a pattern, something always gets a bit much this time of year.

Thought of going sod it and getting one of those £400 headsets for treating depression.

I have always loved Christmas but this year I'm having a wobble. Just been in floods of tears at a kids carol concert. I want to make it really joyful and lovely for DD but I'm actually finding everything really hard right now and all the Christmas cheer is making it feel worse. It feels sad and poignant.

im not doing xmas anymore. my kids have all geown up. my marriage fell apart. my kids dont speak to me. i was on court friday to get a CA order for access to my granddaughter whuch the judge threw out as my daughters annimosity towards me will cause distress to my grandaugter so ive list contact with her now....amd my new partner of 4 years will probably go to his ex wife and son... so im.done....happy fucking xmas !!!