I'm so scared of PND again I'm going to go the GP and ask about going back on the pill

[theUrbanNixie]

Dh and i haven't been actively ttc, but we don't use contraception and i've been broody as hell!

But now that ds is tailing off his breastfeeding - no sign of stopping yet but i'm sure my periods will return soon - and the reality of actively ttc sets in i just feel this massive panic.

I had horrific pnd which didn't set in until about 6 months and i still haven't completely shaken. I know that dh wants more dc as he was an only child, but it's like a switch has been flicked in my head and i've realised that no matter how broody i am i'm not sure i could put dh and ds and any subsequent dc through the hell that was me in my blackest moods.

i still get horribly depressed, i always have and i probably always will. but the thought of being as bad as i was with a toddler and a baby is just terrifying me.

i just don't want to disappoint dh - i know how much he wants a big family!

aw this is a toughie, my only point would be each preg and DC is different so perhaps PND wouldnt reoccur? hugs for you

I had PND with my first, set in really quickly and knocked me for 6, was on AD's for 8 months + counselling. Had my second last June, no PND. No denying it's been hard work, but I have ever felt extreme anxiety once in that period, and with a bit of rest, bit more sleep and an understanding DH came to nothing. I am a very over anxious person, had treatment for depression prior to being pregnant, so I thought it was a given I would end up with PND again, but so far, so good. I have loved being a mum again, it's been fantastic to have those early months untainted by PND. Don't rule it out, just take your time, see if you can get some extra couselling in before you do to help deal with your concerns, and if the worst comes to the worst, you know what you need to do to get well again.