Will I ever get over this?

[Rach97]

This is going to sound crazy but when I left my abusive relationship 2 years ago I had to leave my dog with my ex partner. I couldn’t take him with me and I didn’t feel safe going back to the house to visit him. He also used him as a way of control over me.

I feel so guilty and even now I cry most days because I miss him so much. Will I ever get over this? I feel like such a bad person

I wonder if all the feelings you have about the abuse are getting channelled into this one issue. Is that why it's hard to get over?

It's interesting that you are holding yourself responsible for not taking the dog, even though it sounds like you were in danger and had to prioritise yourself. Could you have a pattern where you hold yourself accountable for things you can't actually control? You might want to think about whether you're being much too hard on yourself, and dive into self-compassion.

Also I do think our relationship with pets can be very close, especially if you felt lonely in the relationship you might have had a super tight bond with your dog. Losing them may have been like a grief or loss. Maybe you could give yourself a proper time for the emotions of this loss and recognise it as a process of loss that will end?

In my experience it's hard to move on from those feelings of utter, utter powerlessness. Maybe that's what you felt too? It takes time to rebuild. 💐