Don’t know why I’m posting this just cos I have nowhere to turn I guess and need to tell someone. I’ve kept it all in and I can’t do life anymore. For weeks I was feeling just meh and like life was pointless I was exhausted sleeping all the time and the moment I’d wake up I’d wanna go back to sleep. Then it got worse and I’ve completely broken down now. I turned to binge drinking and sedatives to try and feel better cos I feel so crappy. I feel alone all the time and the thing that kills me is I see everyone succeeding in life with jobs, driving cars, having families etc & I just feel alone and like a waste of space I feel my life isn’t going anywhere and I’m bloody sick of it! I’ve tried it all- therapy, distraction, my driving test is booked for next year but it’s too far away! My boyfriend recently passed and it reminded me of my shortcomings. I am living on the dole and jobless cos of my mental health and I am very angry at life I hate people and life I feel it’s so unfair. I try my best to enjoy life but my light is out. I’m lucky enough to have people like friends and family but they don’t need me and prefer other people. I have sweet FA to live for. I am a waste of space I deserved the abuse I got from my dad as a child because if my dad can do that to me then I have no hope. Plus I question if he ever did sexually abuse me because he showed me so much love and cuddles after and said all dads did it with their daughters. I look around and realise life would be great for everyone and the world itself if I snuffed it. I can’t do anymore of this. I just want to disappear. Thanks if you read and thank you more if you replied to my stupid post. I appreciate it all.