Intrusive thoughts

[worriedmindd]

Hi all,
I suppose I'm posting to try and help get my thoughts down and out of my head a little bit. I'm currently in my third trimester and am struggling with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. This isn't a new thing and I was quite poorly with pnd and pna after my first child was born so it looks like it's rearing it's ugly head again.
Basically, after my first son was born I became obsessed with the house we'd just bought and whether it was 'safe' and by safe I mean I'd get myself worked up about any cracks in the plaster, the roof possibly caving in, asbestos lurking everywhere. Stupidly we didn't get a survey done before we bought the house which is fuelling the anxiety.
I sought help after my son was born and have managed okay since, however since entering my third trimester with my second pregnancy those same worries and obsessive thoughts have come back. I keep freaking myself out about possible asbestos in the house and whether we've breathed it in when we've done work to the house (we replastered a few rooms) and now I'm worried sick and can't seem to snap myself out of it.
Any words of wisdom, tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated. Also if anyone can calm me down about the possible asbestos that'd be grand! For context our home is ex council, last owners bought in early 00s, owners before that bought from the council and they did a lot of work to the house

Your hormones are doing somersaults so it's absolutely normal to worry... all you have to do is remember you have done the newborn stage before and must have loved it so much you decided to have another crack at it... as i don't suffer with anxiety all i can suggest is to try and only worry if you have something to actually worry about because if you spend time worrying about something that may never happen you have wasted that precious time.... i know it sounds easy for me to say but you need to change your mindset somehow.... as for the asbestos .... if you and your family living in the house now have no symptoms then chances are you have nothing to worry about but get it checked out if you really can't stop worrying... from what i know about asbestos it's usually only unsafe when disturbed (dust) try and look forward to your new arrival

I have been dealing with this but i'm not pregnant. You must try not to worry as it's so important that you keep healthy and stress free at this important time. It might help to speak to a counsellor before your new baby arrives as it will really help put this in perspective and help you to cope. Could your midwife help or maybe see someone privately if you can afford it? I'm just thinking timescales with the baby on the way.
I'm seeing a counsellor who explained that the primitive part of our brain scans for problems - real or imagined. Mine was triggered by a traumatic out of the blue event. Apparently it's completely normal to do this and it all comes down to self preservation, so fight or flight at its most basic. We have to teach/show our primitive brain that we know how to deal or we are dealing with the issue. For me, a builder said we had it in a wall and covered it up quite a few years back but I didn't think about this again until after my op. My brain was scanning for problems that needed resolving. Your brain is doing this because you are about to have a baby and you've had worries about it before.
Why do you think there is asbestos in your house? Has a professional said this? Have you had an asbestos specialist come out and do a survey or investigation for you? If not, then do it before the baby arrives so that you can have peace of mind or take action if necessary. You don't need this stress right now, so please do what you need to make sure you can give yourself peace of mind soon. And definitely speak to your midwife too as you may need a little bit more support right now and in the 'fourth' trimester.

In DBT we do a technique called ‘State the facts’ or some similar name. It’s basically looking at the raw evidence for your intrusive thoughts.

if you are worried about asbestos and you know there is not, dig out that report, cement it in your mind for a couple of hours, file it somewhere safe and when you have that intrusive thought, you always know where the truth is

If you haven’t had a specialist in, do it before the baby arrives so that you have piece of mind, or a plan of action. Xx