Feeling that life is over after significant trauma

[rainbowprincesschapell]

...and being ok with that and at peace. But having to stay alive and strong for your children. i think this is a lot more common than people think.

It's not a good way to live, especially when you remember what life was like before. There's no possibility of re building or a cure. I genuinely understand why people give up.

Life can't feel good again, i am alone in the world with a toddler and cptsd from severe DV. There is no support beyond the immediate aftermath. Being potentially forced to work when it makes things worse and being mortified and embarrassed and wishing ...wishing, begging for the past to change and my mind to heal and being terrified to reach out un fear of losing the one human being that keeps you alive

I’m so sorry.
As someone who understands cptsd and severe DV, I promise there is hope.
it may not feel it now, but it can take time to process and work through what you’ve been through. It’s natural you feel broken right now. But it is possible to find happiness again.

Please speak to your GP, a referral to counselling or CBT or
Emdr is a good starting point and they may suggest meds whilst you’re struggling.
Just put one foot in front of another and hang in there for your toddler.

your means means a lot! As someone whose past life was so charmed and happy, it feels impossible to live most of the time

i've had cbt, i should revisit the materials. i can't even pick up the phone to call the gp let alone visit for myself.

I feel so ashamed to be like this and i feel like a fraud.

Please talk to your health visitor there is so much support out there and you won't be judged only the violent ex will be. Dv is devastatingly so common and they know how to deal with it x

There is no shame. How you’re feeling is totally normal given you’ve been through a trauma. It’s ok to acknowledge that it’s had an impact on you; if anything that makes you very healthy and strong.
It’s actually great that you have known happiness because you have a barometer for what that feels like and even if you can’t return to what was, there are ways to find new versions of normal. I understand that may feel entirely impossible now. I promise the intense hopeless feelings will resolve. It’s something that you shared it here. A first step. You can do this.

thank you! i do feel fortunate that i have some insight and don't want to be like this. it's a horrible feeling when your mind betrays you, with memory blackouts and night terrors etc

I'm in my 6th year post leaving my DA situation. Life is much better now. I am recovered and happy. It takes time and work, but it can be done. There is help out there, you need to track it down, which is hard when all your effort goes into surviving and just getting through each day. It will get better @rainbowprincesschapell You can do this.

Another one saying things can get better. What you’re feeling is normal in the circumstances, and shame and despair are part of that.

Therapy has helped me so much. I genuinely thought I was going mad at one point, with night terrors and sleep paralysis, just seemed overwhelming. Now I’m feeling normal (relatively, my DCs would disagree🙈😊)

Understanding that my feelings were bog standard for my particular traumas was key for me. Honestly, there is hope

The scariest part is over. It’s precisely because you’re now safe that these things are taking hold now. Your insight is a guiding light. This will pass. It’s a bit like going on a bear hunt, can’t go over it, can’t go under it, must go through it… Hope that’s not too cringe ! There is hope at the other side. I saw my mum totally broken by DV. She nearly died several times, was left penniless and isolated. Then spent a year in bed once it was over. Hard for us kids. But now she’s remarried, extremely happy, travels, has achieved incredible success in her life.

i am so happy to hear your mum is happy now, what an inspiration.im still at the point where i could never dream of another relationship. i still have to co parent with my abuser and his family so it feels it's still always lingering