Fear of disapproval- so why do I keep risking it?

[baddayattheoffice]

I am so fearful of disapproval and yet I can't stop putting myself in the firing line. And then when it happens, fear grips me and all of my shaky feelings of self worth come crashing down.
Seeking approval while fearing getting rejected is what it really is I think.
I cringe inside when I hear myself talking sometimes, so sycophantic, ugh. And obviously most people see through it for what it is and despise me. Not as much as I despise myself.

When did you start to think this way? Can you give an example of putting yourself in the firing line?

(BTW, you are wrong about obviously most people see through it for what it is and despise me. Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to even be aware of others, never mind despising them).

Can you give an example of the disapproval you experience?

We all say things that we cringe later about. Don't despise yourself for your normal human behaviour.

Have you ever sought help for the way you're feeling?