Social anxiety around family

[hellothegrrreeeen]

Feeling social anxiety around family that I am supposed to love. Heartbreaking.

Various things have gone on in the last few years that have made me feel about an inch tall. I have not forgiven them for what they have done / said but pretended to to keep the peace.

I get awful social anxiety around them and feel like im pretending like everything is okay constantly around them. It is exhausting and debilitating. I feel like I can't say anything or I'll be shot down or cause them upset. I feel crushed around them.

I should feel so lucky to have family a Christmas time so feeling guilty too.
Please any tips on social anxiety around family members?

It's not compulsory to love or like or spend time with people simply because you are related to them. Don't tie yourself up in knots pretending, or worrying about upsetting them - they evidently didn't worry about you.

Volunteer at Christmas, or spend it with friends or alone on a deserted beach. Whatever makes you happy.

Op, if you don’t want to spend time with your family then don’t. I had a lot of family issues growing up due to very serious sibling rivalry and I was never allowed to have anything that deemed better than any of my family as I was the youngest. My parents were very much brain washed by their older children. It was a very complex family relationship situation yet they would tell other people I was the baby of the family omg. Family dinner was always a torture just imagine sitting there being criticized throughout a dinner for every thing from hair to handbag to cloths to shoes to my job and my house.
I don’t do meal or anything with my family anymore. It honestly is a sense of relief.

Just to add can you afford to have a nice and warm holiday abroad for Christmas to avoid all the nonsense.