Ocd

[Lena4039]

hi. I hope someone will take the time to answer me. I have a child who’s 9 months who I love more than anything. when I was pregnant I got ocd, and it also continued after the child was born. now I've had it for quite a long time, and everyone around me is tired and fed up with my ocd, especially my husband. I'm now afraid he can't stand it anymore and can't stand being with me anymore. I have therefore decided to start medicine. I've been going to therapy the whole time, but I can't get the ocd under control. I'm so afraid that the medicine won't work because then my husband can't take it anymore. I also don't want to breastfeed and go on medication at the same time, so then I have to stop breastfeeding. this is also sad for me. but the biggest fear is that medicine won't work on my ocd.

@HildegardVonBingham thank you:) this actually scares me a lot, because my biggest fear it that my child will learn this from me, and that’s what happened to you. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this! It’s an awful thing to have! Have you read the book?:) I hope the medication and therapy will help you. I wish you all the best!

I actually read a lot on forums, and many of the people says «do not start in medicine, the problem will be there when you quit taking them» «it didn’t work for me» and stuff like that. I become anxious about this because I’m scared that it won’t work, that it’s just a temporary solution and that the medicine isn’t effective for ocd (escitalopram). I just want to win this without medicine, and I’m feeling so weak that I can’t do it. This really sucks and feels hopeless..

I’ve had OCD for 13 years. I’ve spent thousands on therapy, and I haven’t managed to get over it. I am trying medication now, because it’s the one thing I haven’t tried. I too have had the mentality of feeling I’m somewhat being weak or cheating by using medication, or that I should just be stronger and get over it without medication. But what I have tried so far hasn’t worked, and so now I need to try something different. I am trying to change my mentality that I am not weak to be on medication, I am being courageous to try something different and continuing to fight to try and make myself better. That makes me strong, not weak.

who is writing that stuff? Researchers who have actually worked on clinical trials for meds with severe OCD or people with anecdotes? I suspect the later. There is clear evidence that for some people medication is absolutely the key to breaking the OCD cycles. There is actual evidence from proper clinical trials that the response rate in OCD versus a placebo is double for those on SSRIs.
There is also good evidence for pregabalin, although that is a med that needs careful discussion due to potential side effects. It makes absolute sense though that pregabalin could help very severe OCD because new research shows a lack of GABA in the OCD active brain. This is nothing to do with being "weak" and lacking willpower, it is just a "wiring issue". OCD brains tend to have too much glutamine and not enough serotonin to put a break on the compulsions.
You need to learn new responses to fears and urges in OCD and the meds help to make your brain more ready. You could think of it like warming up before a race. You need to get your muscles warm and ready to do more serious exercise. The meds can be like a "warm up" to get your brain in the place to do the new exercises. Going on the meds alongside intensive therapy for OCD gets many people better. You don't need to suffer so much. 💐

@StrangeSenseOfCalm I really hope that the medicine would work for you! It must be a nightmare to suffer from this for 13 years! You are very strong! I really hate myself for having this , because it can ruin my relationship and even worse, that my child could get this because of me. It really feels like a nightmare that you can’t wake up from, and when I read that about 60% could get better with medicine-that is pretty low % and I’m afraid that I’m not one of them.

@time4anothername O read it on forums on Reddit when other people ask if the medicine have worked for any of them. Thank you for this example. I would try that. I have been in therapy for ocd for a while now so the psychiatrist said to me last session that she can’t help me anymore and we can hope that the medicine will help. But I will not get any more sessions with the psychiatrist. She say that as long as I’m not breaking up the cycle of control, I will not get better. I understand that, but it’s hard as hell to do things and inside it’s just screams that if you do that the baby can get sick and it’s your fault. I have done a lot for things and things are better, but far from ok.

Keep fighting Lena. Do you know this charity? https://maternalocd.org/ the people who founded it were very ill and got better. They share success stories on the site https://maternalocd.org/success-stories/
There's a perinatal support group once a month with OCDaction too https://ocdaction.org.uk/online-support-groups/

@time4anothername thank you very much :) No, I haven’t heard of it, thank you for sending me this :)

@time4anothername its just really tough if I loose my husband because of this.

@time4anothername how do you feel after starting medication?:) I hope you are doing well :)

thanks for asking, I think it is more helpful to try things for yourself than compare to another person though. I hope the OCD can release some of its grip on you soon. Keep looking for a good therapist and support group to help you through this maternal OCD x

@time4anothername thank you:) I wasn’t asking to compare, I asked because you were kind and shared your story, so I thought it was kind to ask back. Hope you feel better, or will feel better soon.

you sound a very kind person Lena :-).

Hi ladies and @Lena4039 . I have to say that I went on 50mg sertraline pre-Christmas and already I feel much better. It’s like someone has put a bit of an internal psychic brake on my urges to check things. I still check things, but nowhere near as much. Earlier I went out to the shop without checking any of the taps or gas, which is something I haven’t done in over a year. I had OCD as a child and when it came back in adulthood I didn’t want to go on medication because it felt like weakness. But I feel so much better and my Dr said sertraline has great success rates. You have nothing to lose !

@time4anothername thank you very much :)

@HildegardVonBingham oh, I’m so happy for you! That sounds great!, and like a dream! You were lucky that it kicked in so fast! What did happen when you realised that you forgot to check, did the anxiety level rise, or did you feel ok with it? It is so strange that a medicine can give so much peace! Think about all the time that you have struggled with this! I really hope that it can have some effect on me too, and to find out I guess I have to take a chance and try:)